Mission 7: Bull in a China Shop
If Jermaine was the person responsible for nudging Niko into a life of crime, loan shark Vlad Glebov was the one who shoved him the rest of the way in. Still, as illegal tasks go, shaking down a shop owner by breaking one of his windows seems relatively harmless. A little menacing, maybe, but not really the sort of thing that leads to hard time if you get caught.
The problem, of course, was whether or not there was a way to smash the window that would be completely accidental or legally justifiable. The game told us to find something to throw in, but there had to be a more creative solution than that, right? Calling the cops, whether it worked or not, wasn't even an option unless we could get them to shoot at Niko and miss while he stood in front of the window, but doing that would probably mean we'd just committed an even bigger crime.
Above: OOOOOOPS!
While we were pondering the situation, we walked up to the window and absently gave the glass a half-hearted shove, and which point it shattered like spun sugar. Watching Niko absent-mindedly smash one of his flimsy prop windows was apparently enough to terrify the shopkeeper, and he paid up on the spot. Mission accomplished… but at what cost?
CRIMES COMMITTED: Vandalism but we swear we didn't know the window would yield to a shove, officer
Mission 8: Hung Out to Dry
While you don't actually harm the laundromat owner that Vlad sends you out to harangue in this mission, you do have to violently ram his van off the road, which we're pretty sure is a crime in some parts of the world (all of them). To accomplish this one, we borrowed a cab from Roman's office - he didn't mind, he's family - and made sure to leave it parked by the laundromat's front entrance, so that we didn't have to jack any of the cars out back. (Parking around the back tends to make your cars disappear when it's time to start the chase, because this is where the game usually shows you how to steal a locked car.)
Once the chase was on, we dinged up Roman's cab a bit as we slammed it into the van, but no big deal; it still ran afterward. Unfortunately, there's just no way to get through this mission without causing considerable distress to the laundromat owner; but, again, at least we didn't have to hurt the poor bastard or steal a car.
CRIMES COMMITTED: Vehicular assault
Mission 9: Clean Getaway
All right, so technically, Niko's asked to swipe a car in this mission - but really, it's more like repo work. This Jimmy guy owes Vlad a lot of money, so rather than take it out of his hide, Vlad wants Niko to take his car. The only thing that made this shady is that Niko's not a licensed repo man.
The mission even starts out nice and legal, with Niko actually forced to ride the subway like a law-abiding citizen instead of just jacking a car. And when he finally confronts Jimmy, the guy mockingly invites Niko to try and steal his car - which, taking him literally, we did. When you approach Jimmy, the game instructs you to sucker-punch him out of your way, but it's a completely unncecessary step; instead, we just waltzed past him and got into the car.
Above: Dude, seriously, let go
Unsurprisingly, deadbeat Jimmy and his deadbeat friend weren't having it, and tried to pull Niko out of the car. But jamming on the gas pedal quickly shook off Jimmy's buddy - and, after dragging him for a couple of blocks, Jimmy as well. The two would live through the incident, and Niko hadn't had to hit either of them first. If only the rest of the game could go so smoothly.
CRIMES COMMITTED: Grand Th... none
Mission 10: Ivan the Not So Terrible
This is where things get serious, as Vlad offers Niko a simple decision: become a hitman, or expose himself and Roman to the wrath of Vlad's powerful friends. With a choice like that, Niko (somewhat) reluctantly agrees to kill Vlad's former buddy Ivan, but that doesn't necessarily mean he actually will.
Above: The funny thing is, we didn't even have to push Ivan to get him there. He did it to himself
See, this is the mission that introduces moral choices, so instead of executing Ivan - which was pretty damn tempting after chasing him through the streets, up a building site and across a few rooftops - we opted to pull him to safety and let him go. Aside from a little recklessness and trespassing (which, again, we won't count) this was one of the easiest missions to pull off in a totally crime-free fashion.
CRIMES COMMITTED: None
