"Can you do this for me?" A pained wail comes from the sofa, muffled yet audible despite my noise-cancelling headphones. My girlfriend is curled up there playing The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, as she has done nightly over the past few weeks, and not once in that time has she asked for help. I pause my own game and swivel the computer chair to face her, dredging up the now admittedly hazy memories of the 14-hour Hyrulean marathon I'd embarked upon a year ago. "Where are you at with it?" I ask – and hastily button my lip when she tells me.
The thing I'm least looking forward to about replaying Breath of the Wild on Switch 2 is dealing with the game's hardest boss all over again – especially after being a backseat driver to my partner's own Thunderblight ordeal last weekend. It's one of the most beloved and best Switch games of all time, but I need to be in a specific mood for such a demanding Metroidvania. Backtracking, shrine-grinding, farming for armor upgrade materials… sometimes, it's just not for me.
Link's life is a battlefield
Nintendo exec says Switch 2 runs Zelda: Breath of the Wild so much better even he was shocked
Our first port of call is a recon mission. I send my partner back into the field and watch as she demonstrates the utter fleet-footed threat that Thunderblight Ganon poses. His fast attacks swiftly knock her flying, Link rolling about the cylindrical battlefield like a dead hamster on its wheel, and even when he manages to get some good hits in to break Gannon's shield, it does minimal damage.
My girl is no rookie. She's come prepared with a host of heavier duty weaponry – "they're all so big and slow though," she huffs frustratedly. She also has plenty of elemental arrows, though given how fast Thunderblight Ganon moves and his ridiculously persistent shieldwork, there's little time to aim down her sights before he's fatally zig-zagging. She also has at least fifteen hearts, not including plenty of temporary heart-bestowing meals. On top of gathering more spears – the weapon she'd had most success with so far – and some other non-metal melee weapons, I suggest we start by acquiring different armor to replace Link's heavy metal plating. It's her most upgraded set by far, she protests, but ultimately we both know it's not the best choice against a foe partial to dealing shock damage.
Suddenly, a brainwave. I vaguely recall one particular Tears of the Kingdom armor set being useful in the sequel's thunderstorm-plagued territories, and a cursory Google search confirms that the rubber armor set can also be found in Breath of the Wild. Off we set for the first of three pieces: the rubber armor bodysuit.
Shock and awe
...despite channelling a giant eldritch sea creature through it, the complete rubber armor would not turn Link into a damage sponge.
Arguably the most essential part of the anti-zapping formula, the rubber armor is found in a hidden Breath of the Wild shrine on Thundra Plateau. To access it, we need to place four colored orbs into their respective dishes while dodging lightning bolts and the random fires they can leave behind. Guide in hand, I do my best to instruct my partner on how to go about her task easiest. (What? We have these things on the site for a reason!)
Once we have argued over and inevitably decided upon which is the red and which is the orange orb, the Stasis rune comes in handy for transporting them into the arena. Things are made trickier for the the near constant swarm of angry blue Chuchus surrounding Link mid-hammer swing as he tries to tee the orbs off a rocky ledge and into the plateau itself, all before lightning can strike through our trusty metal hammer. My partner expertly managed to defeat the Chuchus pretty much simultaneously. Her dedicated loot goblin tendencies means that she picks up each Chuchu Jelly piece, a stash of well-earned trophies that turn out to be very useful in the long run...
Eventually, many shattered heavy weapons later, all four orbs are placed correctly, and we can enter the shrine and claim our prize. The next two pieces of the armor set are less hard to come by – the rubber helm is simply gifted after helping a Lakeside Stables NPC remove an axe from the roof, and the rubber tights are found in a much simpler hidden shrine.
I can't remember if my girlfriend went back to Thunderblight Gannon right then and there, triumphant yet doomed in her fish head mask and oilslick tights, or if we visited a Great Fairy to upgrade them first. Either way, despite channelling the might of a giant eldritch sea creature through it, the complete rubber armor set's basic stats of nine defensive points in total would not turn Link into a damage sponge. One of the materials needed to upgrade this particular set, however, is Yellow Chuchu Jelly, handily created through letting lightning strike a regular Chuchu Jelly… and guess who just got mobbed by a bunch of those an hour ago!
My suggestion to try shooting an electric elemental arrow at a pile of them works a charm, too, though I receive one complaint from the unsatisfied pilot at the helm of this mission: some jellies seemed to vanish or merge with others upon electrification. A noble sacrifice, I assure her.
From the jaws of defeat...
I'm reminded how complicated yet brilliant Breath of the Wild can be...
Feeling I've contributed all I can to the cause – i.e. reeling off guides like an army officer and offering the occasional wince – I leave my partner to the rest. This is her save file, after all; the victory should be hers alone to savour. But no sooner do I swivel back around to play more Assassin's Creed Shadows, the pained wailing recommences. Only this time, it's angrier. "GET THE F**K UP, LINK!" I hear in the background of a cutscene. "GET OFF THE F**KING FLOOR!" I peer over my shoulder to hazard a glance at the TV screen, just in time to hear the dreaded death melody. My girlfriend glares daggers in its reflection. "Maybe try playing it with no sound?" I offer uselessly. Hey, it works for me in Lies of P.
I actually wasn't home when she managed to defeat Thunderblight Ganon, but a celebratory text the following morning alerted me of her great victory. "GOT HIM ON MY FIRST TRY," it read. To the very marrow of my bones, I shared that relief. Breath of the Wild can be such a punishing experience to throw yourself into (even from the passenger seat) when you're stuck between wanting to see things through and lacking the patience for the task at hand. The rewards, however, make it all the more worthwhile.
The power of teamwork proved that there's always a sneaky shortcut to be had in Hyrule, even if the long way is more foolproof for a reason. But the most important thing I've learned from sharing this experience with my partner is that where there's a will, there's definitely a way: simply, wage war against your foes in a pair of rubber tights.
Hyrule Warriors is the next big upcoming Switch 2 game in the Zelda franchise!
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