Marathon has just concluded its Server Slam beta period ahead of its full launch on March 5, and developer Bungie has prepared a delectable array of statistics to commemorate a weekend spent well on killing your friends and churning burgers.
According to a stats summary video from Bungie, Marathon players killed a shocking 9,152,844 enemy Runners during the game's Server Slam – "Runner" being the polite name for the bio-synthetic shells Marathon players use as their characters. Even more impressive, Server Slam players also destroyed 129,160,928 PvE bots from the abandoned UESC colony ship – though I'm not sure how they had time for all that while also extracting 384,866 drinkable cheeseburgers.
"NuCaloric is grateful that so many drinkable cheeseburgers were able to be extracted," says an in-character YouTube comment with over 1,000 likes as of writing. I know "drinkable cheeseburgers" may sound gross, but… well, they are gross. In Marathon, the valuable drinkable cheeseburger can be exchanged for credits – though two pink spouts for "mouth" and "friend mouth" imply they can also be enjoyed as a sort of group bonding activity.
"Just sharing a liquid burger with your bro," fantasizes one player on Reddit. Despite the name, drinkable burgers are not actually drinkable in Marathon. Neither is the gray watery, premium tick milk, of which Server Slam players extracted 145,822 times, which is also simply sold as a valuable.
Bungie continues to reveal interesting stats, like the fact that Assassin was the most popular Runner shell, while the Rook scavenger class was "deployed" 997,950 times, leading to a tragic total of 549,445 Rook deaths. But players don't seem to be getting hung up on any of it. They have burgers now.
"'This many drinkable cheeseburger extracted' the exact stat I came here for," says a YouTube comment with over 400 likes.
"'Everything runs on drinkable cheeseburger, or nothing runs at all,'" summarizes another.
