Red Dead Redemption 2 won't be out for at least a little while longer (developer Rockstar Games still hasn't given a more specific date than 'spring 2018'), but since when have little things like 'facts' gotten in the way of the internet? If you head over to Amazon right now, you can look up user reviews for the highly-anticipated cowboy simulator, and boy are they a treat.
While some have simply used Amazon's rating system to express their excitement - or disdain - for the game, others have had a bit more fun with it. Below are some personal favorites, though I fully expect there to be more written by the time you read this.
SpeedyGonzales, who gave the game a 5-star rating, wrote: "This game is going to ruin my marriage. I will play this game endlessly until its complete and then play it again. My wife will walk out on me and my life will be over so i will have to play it again and again until Red Dead 3 comes out."
Here's one from... *sigh* SlightlyWetFart, also a 5-star rating: "My copy had sharks with cowboy hats and bazookas. I think the developers are trying to mess with my head. But 5 stars anyway because the disc case had a BLT sandwich stuffed into it, and I was very hungry at the time."
User cosworth28 knows exactly what a Red Dead Redemption 2 buyer is looking for: "Great game, I love football games, def better than the last one, I also love the jet packs, recommend!"
Thomas has some ideas on how Rockstar could've improved its designs: "Game could have been so much better if it was set in modern times and you could get cased by cops for committing crimes, fly planes around, could swap between a few different characters with different skills and was set in a city/outback with a name like Log Pantos."
Easy on the spoilers there, john: "Trever philips gets sucked into the vortex of time and he ends up in the wild west. This is a great cowboy, however the alien xenamoprhs you have to fight at the end borders in the ridiculous."
If this all seems a little silly, know you're not alone in thinking that. After all, this one-star review from Gennosuke has received the most 'this is helpful' votes: "This is game is not working on PS4, not sure if the reason is that the game hasn't come out yet… When will amazon stop people reviewing games that are not out..."
Feel free to write your own fake review, or just rewatch that magnificent trailer until Rockstar confirms just when in 2018 this thing is supposed to come out.