The Spooky Kid: A 14-year-old boy who turns up on Nicole Kidman’s doorstep and announces that he’s the reincarnation of her dead husband. As you do…
If They Were An Adult: Seeing as that trick got him into Kidman’s bathtub as a teenage boy, we can only assume he’d still be using it on other vulnerable beauties…
Island Children (Who Can Kill A Child?)
The Spooky Kid: The killer inhabitants of a mysterious island who terrorise a pair of holidaying Brits. An argument for a staycation if ever there was one.
If They Were Adults: It would be less a horror film and more a BNP public service announcement.
Adam Duncan (Godsend)
The Spooky Kid: Cameron Bright turns in another creepy performance as the starey-eyed clone of Greg Kinnear’s dead son. What could go wrong with that set-up?
If They Were An Adult: The cloning process would probably be more complex, making the end product even dodgier. If that’s possible.
Sam (Trick R Treat)
The Spooky Kid: A big fan of Halloween, Sam takes the old trick or treat thing a bit far, stabbing one luckless punter to death with a half-eaten lollypop. He’s a menace!
If They Were An Adult: He’d probably use a knife instead. Not as tasty but twice as effective.
Brett (Eden Lake)
The Spooky Kid: Not so much spooky as downright terrifying, Brett is the poster-boy for Broken Britain. One minute he’s pissing you off with his music, the next he’s jamming a knife in your gut. We blame violent videogames.
If They Were An Adult: He’d have five more little Bretts running wild and getting the Daily Mail’s knickers in a twist.
Tom (The Awakening)
The Spooky Kid: Shy little Tom might seem like a loveably precocious tyke, but there’s more to him than meets the eye. A bit over-familiar with adults for our liking, too…
If They Were An Adult: His constant questions and wheedling affection would be anything but charming.
Anthony Fremont (The Twilight Zone: The Movie)
The Spooky Kid: A terrifyingly powerful child with the ability to warp reality in accordance with his every whim. He goes to bed when he likes…
If They Were An Adult: He might be a little more reasonable, but children tend to fly off the handle at the slightest provocation…
Alice (Alice Sweet Alice)
The Spooky Kid: Alice loves nothing better than tormenting her younger sibling, until eventually she goes too far and kills her. And then covers it up. And then kills anyone who looks like rumbling her. Hmmm…
If They Were An Adult: She probably wouldn’t get away with it as a grown-up. One of the benefits of a youth… people trust you!
Santi (The Devils Backbone)
The Spooky Kid: The ghostly Santi, a former resident of the orphanage he now haunts. Frightening at first, but nice enough when you get to know him…
If They Were An Adult: An unidentified adult skulking around an orphanage would be unsettling for a whole different host of reasons.
Barto (The Unborn)
The Spooky Kid: Jaunty by name but not so jaunty by nature, Barto is actually a Dibbuk, an evil spirit capable of possessing the bodies of the living and the dead. Nasty piece of work.
If They Were An Adult: Pallid complexion, bleary eyes… you’d probably just take him for a chronic boozer.