50 Movie Character Resolutions

The Bride

The Character: Beatrix Kiddo, previously Black Mamba in the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad and now hunting down her ex-colleagues for murdering her husband at their wedding.

The Resolution: To go on a rip-roaring rampage of revenge.

Chances Of Sticking To It: The rippier and roarier, the better.

Hannibal Lecter

The Character: Renowned psychiatrist who used his mental agility to lure victims into his feasts of murder and cannibalism - until he was caught.

The Resolution: To escape from incarceration. Prison food is terrible.

Chances Of Sticking To It: He's too clever to fail. Especially when guards' faces make such handy disguises.


The Character: aka Logan, a mutant whose ability to heal himself made him the target for nefarious military types who have inserted an adamantium skeleton - with retractable claws! - into his body.

The Resolution: To stay out of trouble, and definitely to avoid hanging out with any other mutants.

Chances Of Sticking To It: Blimey, Professor X is a persistent bugger. Oh, all right, Wolverine will join your quote-unquote X Men.

Andy Dufresne

The Character: Mild-mannered banker, wrongfully accused of murdering his wife.

The Resolution: To get the hell out of Shawshank.

Chances Of Sticking To It: Even if it takes a few decades, at least Andy will have posters of pretty ladies to look at.

Jules Winnfield

The Character: Hitman for Marsellus Wallace, who decides a change of lifestyle is in order after witnessing a miracle.

The Resolution: Before - "to strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger." After - to "walk the earth, meet people, have adventures, like Caine from Kung Fu ."

Chances Of Sticking To It: Hopefully Marsellus will let him retire.

Inigo Montoya

The Character: Fencing legend out for revenge against the six-fingered man who killed his father.

The Resolution: To get the chance to say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Chances Of Sticking To It: C'mon, with a line like that, he's not likely to let this one slip.

Jessica Rabbit

The Character: Flame-haired cartoon temptress. Married to a rabbit. Not bad, just drawn that way.

The Resolution: To take on some charity work to persuade Toontown of her inner kindness.

Chances Of Sticking To It: She creates the most successful charity in history. People sure can be generous when she asks them to donate.

Patrick Bateman

The Character: Cocky investment banker, whose colleagues don't realise he's completely insane - despite giveaway signs like a love of Phil Collins.

The Resolution: To return those overdue video tapes.

Chances Of Sticking To It: Not good, when there are so many people to murder with an axe.


The Character: Diminutive alien with Einstein eyes. Party tricks include bike levitation and an extendable neck.

The Resolution: To get off this weird planet where they'll only let him out of the house with a sheet over his head.

Chances Of Sticking To It: Once he's figured out a way to phone home, he'll be fine.

Daniel Plainview

The Character: Miner who hits the motherlode by striking oil and gradually lets the power and greed go to his head.

The Resolution: To drink your milkshake.

Chances Of Sticking To It: Slurp, slurp, slurp…