Frankensteins Monster (The Monster Squad)
The Monster: Unlike in the original Frankenstein , the Frankenstein’s Monster in Monster Squad actually discovers somebody who accepts him.
That person is young Phoebe, who’s unafraid of his horrific visage. Hooray!
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Frankenstein’s Monster just wants to be accepted by the world – hug away!
Gollum (Lord Of The Rings)
The Monster: Schizophrenic former hobbit with a serious obsession with the One Ring, which he brands his “precioussssss”.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Depends if he’s currently in the mindset of Smeagol or Gollum.
The former, you’re golden, all he wants is love. The latter, you might want to strap on your running shoes.
The Gingerdead Man
The Monster: A gingerbread man whose spice mix was contaminated with the ashes of dead serial killer Millard Findlemeyer (Gary Busey), bringing him back to life – in biscuit form.
Look at him, though. He looks so soft and squidgy, perfect for a cinnamon-scented hug.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Slim to none – this guy likes spilling the red stuff.
The Monster: Mischievous little ETs who delight in wanton destruction and look like balls of fur with teeth. Making them even more endearing, they also have a wicked sense of humour.
They're basically very, very, very, very, very naughty kittens.
And who doesn't want to cuddle a kitten?
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Don’t do it! Just don’t. It’s not even a question. You'll lose your hand before you've even reached them.
Pegasus (Clash Of The Titans)
The Monster: Not a monster in the strictest sense of the word, but still a weird creature hybrid of mythic proportions - this time a horse with wings - that looks really hug-worthy.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: You’d probably get a hoof in a sensitive area before you even got close.
The Monster: Otherwise known as Elizabeth Shelley, who dies in a terrible lawnmower incident.
Thankfully, mad scientist Jeffrey Franken puts Shelley back together again, patching her up using pieces from an NY hooker.
So, yeah, you could cuddle her - but it would cost you.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: “For money, she'll love anyone... to death!” goes the official synopsis.
It’s not worth it, chaps.
Pac-Man (Blade: Trinity)
The Monster: The pet of vampire Danica Talos (Parker Posey), who goes through a few, uh, interesting changes…
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: We wouldn’t bet on it – that thing would be right at your neck like a dog with a bone.
Or a vampire-dog with a human.
The Monster: The last of his kind in 984 England, Draco once saved a young prince who has grown into a tyrannical ruler. He’s cuddly by means of being voiced by Sean Connery.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Sure, he’s voiced by Sean Connery, but he’s still a ruddy dragon.
The Monster: An evil little Irish imp with pretty natty style (check out the hat and stockings), and a policy of zero mercy when it comes to people pinching his pot o’ gold.
Despite the fact he's got a heart made of pure evil, he still looks pretty cute.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Have a four-leaf clover handy – it’s the Leprechaun’s only weakness, dontcha know.
Scrappy Doo (Scooby-Doo)
The Monster: Not the scrappy young scamp of the animated series, but the egotistical monster of the 2002 movie, which sees Scrappy Doo pose as otherworldly leader Mondavarious before turning himself into a demon. Gulp.
Still, who doesn't want to cuddle a puppy?
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Scrappy would rather rip out your heart and force feed it to you than be cuddled. Sorry.
Joe (Mighty Joe Young)
The Monster: Monstrous in size if not temperament, Joe's a big, moody mountain gorilla who’s looked after by Jill Young (Charlize Theron). Both their mothers died at the hands of evil poacher Andrei Strasser (Rade Šerbedija).
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Decent, but only if Jill’s around.
The Monster: A talented inventor who works as a slave to Dr Glickenstein (John Cleese).
It’s Igor’s dream to win first place at the Evil Science Fair, if only he could find a way to enter.
Bless him. You probably want to give him a sympathy cuddle, don't you?
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: You want to cuddle that?
Werecat (Cat People '82)
The Monster: Irena Gallier discovers that she’s part of a long line of werecats, which means that if she has sex with anybody other than a relative (uh, yeah), she’ll turn into a leopard.
Still, you wouldn't say no, would you?
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Unlikely, especially if you consummate your love – Irena will immediately turn into a giant cat and claw out your throat.
Circus Ape (The Ape)
The Monster: A vicious ape who’s broken free from the circus and is having a merry old time terrorising local townspeople.
Which is where it gets complicated – when the ape’s killed by a desperate scientist, the scientist skins the animal and pretends to be the ape.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Both the ape and the scientist-in-apes-clothing are dangerous, not least because the latter is after some vital spinal fluid. Don’t let him near you…
Maurice (Little Monsters)
The Monster: Remember when you were scared there might be something lurking under your bed as a kid?
Well that something is Maurice, a blue-skinned monster who occupies the space under young Brian’s (Fred Savage) bed.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Maurice is probably too much of a rock star to want to hug, but if you get him pepped up on caffeine you might be able to grab a quick squeeze.
Scott Howard (Teen Wolf)
The Monster: Teenager Scott (Michael J. Fox) goes through some unusual changes and discovers that his family are all werewolves. Which is the least of his problems when he’s also trying to survive high school.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: You could try, but best not request a hug when he’s concentrating on playing basketball.
The Monster: A snowman. A KILLER snowman. A KILLER snowman who’s called Jack Frost and is on a revenge-fuelled mission to kill a small-town sheriff.
Despite the fact he's supposed to be made of snow, he looks more like a human blanket.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Let’s face it, that would be one chilly embrace.
Ro-Man (Robot Monster)
The Monster: Using his Calcinator Death Ray, Ro-Man (who looks like a gorilla wearing a space helmet) has destroyed all but eight humans. He probably lured them in with his fluffy cuteness.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Zero. It’s his mission to kill all humans, right? Not sure a hug’s worth it.
Edward Cullen (Twilight)
The Monster: Sparkly, fangless (mostly) vampire and lover of teenage moper Bella (Kristen Stewart).
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Pretty high – this guy’s a vegetarian. He also really likes cuddles because he’s afraid of ‘losing it’ if he, um, gets too excited.
Killer Shrew (The Killer Shrews)
The Monster: Well, uh, shrews, created by a scientist who’s working to end world hunger. His plan? Make half-size humans. The consequence is these venomous blighters.
Cute, right? They look so soft!
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Did we mention they’re venomous?
The Monster: Tends to be accompanied on-screen by teeny tiny singing fairy girls (“Mo-su-ra! Mo-su-ra!”).
Mothra is a giant lepidopteran and the arch nemesis of Godzilla. She’s also really beautiful.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Mothra’s too busy fighting and stuff to hand out hugs. Plus we imagine those wings are pretty darned heavy…
The Monster: Alright, they’re from a TV show ( Sanctuary ), but they’re just too sweet not to include here.
The Nubbins are abnormals that procreate like bunnies and look harmless enough, which of course means they’re really not.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Despite their diminutive size, the Nubbins’ have surprisingly large appetites. We’d leave them in the cage.
Beryllium Miners (Galaxy Quest)
The Monster: A group of bald blue-skinned aliens whom the Galaxy Quest crew encounter in a remote location.
So. Very. Cute.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Unlikely. Get too close and these things reveal rows of sharp fangs. Scary.
Cousin Itt (The Addams Family)
The Monster: A relative of The Addams Family who appears to be made entirely out of very long, lustrous hair.
Speaks in a high pitched voice that sounds like he's got a helium balloon fetish.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Cousin Itt doesn’t appear to have any arms (or teeth), so we’d say you’re safe.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (Ghostbusters)
The Monster: The form that the evil ‘destructor’ takes (as chosen by Dr. Raymond Stantz) when he crosses the inter-dimensional divide into New York. Bouncy!
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: He looks tasty and nutritious, but the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would rather crush you under his foot than hug you.
Chucky (Childs Play)
The Monster: When serial killer Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) is killed, his soul escapes into a nearby Good Guy doll and begins another murderous rampage.
The Good Guy dolls are specifically marketed as being cuddle-friendly. It'd be a crime not to.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Hug this little fella and come away with a knife buried in your chest.
The Rabbit of Caerbannog (Monty Python And the Holy Grail)
The Monster: A deadly foe that the film’s collection of knights must defeat if they want to get their hands on the Holy Grail.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Don’t be fooled by this monster’s cute little twitchy nose and cotton-ball tail – the Rabbit of Caerbannog revels in turning humans into droppings.
Fizzgig (The Dark Crystal)
The Monster: The pet of Gelfling Kira. He makes up for his tiny stature by being really, really loud as often as possible.
Gets around by turning himself into a furry ball and rolling.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Depends how much he likes you. That’s a big mouth full of teeth, after all…
Killer Rabbits (Night Of The Lepus)
The Monster: Thousands of hungry, mutated rabbits that infest a small Arizona town and attempt to munch their way feverishly through all of its inhabitants.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: These bunnies aren’t for cuddling – unless you want them to make a meal of you.
Flying Monkeys (The Wizard Of Oz)
The Monster: What’s better than a monkey? Why, a flying monkey!
The hench-apes of the Wicked Witch of the West, these furry fliers are as adorable as they are deadly.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: They’re more likely to embrace you then drop you from the sky than just embrace you for the fun of it.
Mike (Monsters Inc.)
The Monster: Mike Wazowski (voiced by Billy Crystal) is a little green man, but he’s not an alien.
He works at Monsters Inc. as an assistant to the company’s top scarer, Sully. Imagine Woody Allen with one eye.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Mike’s not much with the sentiment, so it’s probably best to abort that plan now.
Mr Tinkles (Cats & Dogs)
The Monster: A monster in the sense that he wants to take over the world, no matter what the cost. Bloody cats.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: You may emerge alive, though you’ll be completely covered in life-threatening scratches.
Puckmaren (Flight Of The Navigator)
The Monster: Tiny alien discovered by intrepid explorer David (Joey Cramer) aboard the spaceship Navigator.
The Puckmaren is the last of his kind – his planet was destroyed by unknown forces.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Hugely likely – this little fella doesn’t even have any teeth.
Carol (Where The Wild Things Are)
The Monster: A Wild Thing whom young Max (Max Records) encounters when he sails across his pond onto an isolated island populated with large, fuzzy anarchists.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Well, he’s still a Wild Thing, y’know. With anger issues. We don’t like them odds…
Beach Ball Alien (Dark Star)
The Monster: A gas-based life-form so called because, well, just look at it. Pretty much nothing is known about this odd-looking alien, except that a crew member of the Dark Star thought it was fun. Because who wouldn’t?
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: We like those odds, though be careful not to puncture the alien’s thin skin – it’ll burst like, well, a beach ball.
Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors)
The Monster: A monster from outer space that looks a little bit (alright, a lot) like a Venus Flytrap.
It’s discovered by flower shop worker Seymour Krelborn, who names it after the woman he secretly loves.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Audrey II grows up to the size of a house (or near enough) and feeds off bloody body parts. Still want that hug?
Were-Rabbit (Wallace & Gromit: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit)
The Monster: Not a werewolf, but a were- rabbit , a strange and exotic nightmare that comes out during the twilight hours to feast on vegetables.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: He may be a vegetarian, but we don’t like the look of those teeth. Best to forget about any hugs.
Insectosaurus (Monsters Vs Aliens)
The Monster: Previously just a tiny grub, Insectosaurus is transformed into a 350ft tall monstrosity thanks to a little nuclear radiation.
He can’t talk, and generally walks around looking totally stoned.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: We doubt Insectosaurus would even notice you’re there, so feel free to give his big toe a warm squeeze.
The Beast (Beauty And The Beast)
The Monster: Originally a selfish prince, the Beast was cursed into his current fuzzy form by a vengeful enchantress.
He’ll stay a beast forever if he doesn’t love and receive love by the time he turns 21.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: He may be big and hairy, but get past his self-loathing and the Beast is a kind-hearted monster who would probably appreciate hugging out his feelings.
Gammera (Gammera The Invincible)
The Monster: A giant beast awoken by the explosion of a low-level Atomic bomb, Gammera looks like a massive turtle and has whopping great fangs to boot.
He also shoots fire from his mouth.
Which doesn't stop him from being absolutely adorable.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: We wouldn’t advise it. He may look like a cute turtle, but this guy likes his space.
Falkor (The Neverending Story)
The Monster: A luck dragon who comes to the rescue of young hero Atreyu (Noah Hathaway) when he’s almost swallowed by the deadly Swamps.
Has a laugh like a foghorn.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Pretty high, especially if you scratch him behind his ear – he loves that.
Harry (Harry And The Hendersons)
The Monster: Bigfoot himself! Harry’s discovered by the Henderson family when they accidentally knock him down with their car, and is soon adopted into their family.
He likes pets.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: You’re kidding, right? Harry lives for hugs.
The Monster: At first a miserable swamp ogre, Shrek grows into a fully-rounded unhuman being when he befriends (against his will) Donkey and falls in love with Fiona.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: If you’re not brandishing a pitchfork or a flaming baton, we’d say you’re pretty safe.
Especially if Fiona’s around to keep Shrek in check.
The Monster: The pet of young filmmaking scientist Victor Frankenstein (Charlie Tahan), who tragically dies after being run over.
Which is no problem for Victor, who resurrects him in the attic using lightning.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Like any dog, Sparky loves attention of any kind, which means hugs are an absolute must.
Totoro (My Neighbour Totoro)
The Monster: A spirit that lives in a large camphor tree, Totoro doesn’t say much and delights in the small wonders of the natural world, including the sound of rain on an umbrella he’s given by young Satsuki.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Highly likely – Mei certainly survived.
Wampa (Star Wars)
The Monster: Living in the snowy wastelands of Hoth, the Wampa is sort of like a space-age Yeti.
It also likes to eat people – notably attempting to make a snack out of Luke Skywalker.
Still, because he looks like a massive shagpile carpet we just want to dive in.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Pretty slim. This guy has claws and teeth and a taste for human flesh.
The Monster: A Mogwai. Likes to sing to himself and goes by the name of Gizmo. Comes in his own little Chinese box. Note: A Mogwai is for life, not just for Christmas.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Gizmo loves to cuddle.
Just don’t let him eat after midnight or get wet – that’s when the cuddles turn a little suffocating.
The Monster: Resident of Skull Island and so feared by the natives that they offer up virginal sacrifices in an attempt to appease him.
All Kong really wants, though, is a friend.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: If you impress him with various circus tricks (juggling, prat-falling), you’re sure to win him over and earn a danger-free squeeze.
The Monster: “Smellll baaaaad!” A monosyllabic brute who looks like some kind of hell demon – except Ludo’s really a big softy.
“You seem like such a nice beast,” notes Sarah wisely.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: Pretty slim – Ludo would probably get too enthusiastic and crush you to death.
Sully (Monsters Inc.)
The Monster: Big, fluffy, voiced by John Goodman.
And, as we discover in Monsters Inc. through his relationship with human child Boo (“Kitty!”), he hasn’t got a mean bone in his sizeable body.
Chances Of Making It Out Of The Cuddle Alive: No doubt about it – you’d emerge unscathed and beaming.
Especially if your name is Boo.