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Skyscraper (1996)
Die Hard On A… Skyscraper.
What Would John McClane Do: Probably exactly what he did in Die Hard – Skyscraper basically takes the plot of Die Hard and swaps McClane for Anna Nicole Smith’s big-boobed pilot.
The horror.
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
Die Hard On A… Cruise Ship.
What Would John McClane Do: In a situation like this, there’s only thing McClane could possibly fall back on – booby traps.
With villain Geiger (Willem Dafoe) busy gurning and hacking into computer systems, McClane would spend his time turning the cruise ship into one massive trap. Voila!
Trespass (2011)
Die Hard In A… House.
What Would John McClane Do: He’d use that whispery, high-pitched voice to lull the thugs who’ve invaded his home into a false sense of security.
Then he’d casually give them all a good thrashing. God love him.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)
Die Hard In A… Mall.
What Would John McClane Do: Raid the stores for supplies, then take down the gang of criminals that lay siege to the mall – one man at a time.
Just think of Die Hard crossed with Dawn Of The Dead. Only with less Kevin James.
The Transporter (2002)
Die Hard In A… BMW.
What Would John McClane Do: McClane behind the wheel?
You should expect him to use the car variously as a battering ram, protective shield and seductive love machine (assuming his marriage is still on the rocks).
Sudden Death (1995)
Die Hard In A… Hockey Stadium.
What Would John McClane Do: Is McClane a hockey fan? We’re pretty sure he must be.
Cue lots of hockey-related puns and a fair few skull-bashings with hockey sticks.
Daylight (1996)
Die Hard In… The Lincoln Tunnel.
What Would John McClane Do: Sly Stallone did a good job as hero Kit Latura (what a name), but we imagine McClane would’ve ensured that all of his trapped charges came out alive in the end.
Nothing against Sly or anything.
Turbulence (1997)
Die Hard On A… Plane.
What Would John McClane Do: Lauren Holly wouldn’t be the one landing that plane, that’s for damn sure…
Diplomatic Siege (1999)
Die Hard In A… US Embassy.
What Would John McClane Do: He’d take down the Serbian Liberation Front (which has taken the US Embassy in Romania hostage) by using a walky-talky.
He’s on one end, navigating the building armed with a baseball bat while Erica Long (Daryl Hannah) is in the control room watching the CCTV monitors, helping him take out bad guys…
Command Performance (2009)
Die Hard In A… Russian Concert Hall.
What Would John McClane Do: He’d distract the bad guys by putting on a music show (the hall is being used for a rock concert, after all).
Then just when he's got them seated and enjoying the show, he'd reveal that their chairs are all equipped with explosives.
BOOM.
