30 Days Of Night (2007)
Die Hard In… Barrow, Alaska.
What Would John McClane Do: McClane definitely wouldn’t balk at going up against vampires – even if they do sort of resemble bloody-lipped lawyers.
We’re envisioning a montage of McClane liquefying every scrap of silver he can find. And there’d be no martyr-like sacrifice needed at the end because he’d have killed all the vamps inside of a week.
Air Force One (1997)
Die Hard On The… President’s Plane.
What Would John McClane Do: First we’d have to assume that, in this scenario, John McClane has somehow been promoted to President of the USA.
Just think of the possibilities…
The Raid (2011)
Die Hard In A… Jakarta Tower Block.
What Would John McClane Do: McClane ain’t no fool – he would have scaled the entire building from the outside and worked his way down from the top, starting with the Big Bad.
Take off the head, that’s half the job.
The Rock (1996)
Die Hard On A… Rock (Well, Alcatraz).
What Would John McClane Do : John McClane versus a load of US Marines?
It’s pretty obvious who’d win that one, isn’t it?
Home Alone (1990)
Die Hard In A… House.
What Would John McClane Do: McClane takes no prisoners, especially when they’re jail-breaking goons like Marv and Harry. So he’d pump the guys full of lead the second they attempted to break in.
Shortest feature film ever.
Phone Booth (2002)
Die Hard In A… Phone Box.
What Would John McClane Do: McClane’s nothing if not a blabbermouth.
So much so that we sort of pity the caller who ends up attempting to intimidate him down the phone line. Who’s the real victim there, eh?
Con Air (1997)
Die Hard On A… Plane (Again).
What Would John McClane Do: Chuck every single one of the cons out of the plane while it’s still in the air.
Speaking of, John McClane vs John Malkovich. Now that’s something we’d like to see.
Passenger 57 (1992)
Die Hard On An… Atlantic International Flight.
What Would John McClane Do: John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) basically is John McClane – they’ve both been cops at one point and they both have family issues.
Just imagine Bruce Willis’ head on Snipes’ body and you’re good to go.
Die Hard On A… Bus.
What Would John McClane Do: He would have driven the bus himself (McClane’s no backseat driver) while somehow also managing to defuse the bomb single-handedly. Somehow.
Hard Boiled (1992)
Die Hard In A… Tea House. Then A Warehouse. Then A Hospital.
What Would John McClane Do: Probably exactly the same as Tequila (Chow Yun-Fat), who handles himself pretty well in all of those scenarios.
Though McClane would definitely throw a few more F-bombs around while going about his business.