Mrs Salazar - The Last Stand (2013)
The Pensioner: The owner of an antique store in the dozy border town of Sommerton Junction. Mrs Salazar (Lois Geary) gets caught in the crossfire when gun-toting criminals come to town.
Why She's A Bad-Ass: You'd be forgiven for assuming that this old dear would be reliant on Arnold Schwarzenegger to save her from the invading criminals.
Instead, Mrs Salazar reveals she's tough as old boots when a bad guy raids her antique store - and is confronted with the barrel of her rifle. BLAM. Bye-bye bad guy. Though she hardly has a starring role, this is a stand-out moment in Kim Ji-woon's crowd-pleaser.
"Put the hurt on 'em, Ray!"
Retired Veterans - Battleship (2012)
The Pensioners: Yes, we know the movie hits gorgonzola levels of stinky, but squirreled away amid the massive explosions and terrible dialogue comes this crew of dependable warship pensioners, who are called on to bring the USS Missouri out of retirement…
Why They're Bad-Ass: They earn the film its biggest, most cynicism-free laugh as they enter, all tattooed and droopy-skinned, jaws set determinedly as they fix up the Missouri.
As Mars Attacks proved before it, pensioners versus aliens is the kind of fight we can boogy down to. Always.
Szell's Brother - Marathon Man (1976)
The Pensioner: The brother of war criminal Szell (Laurence Olivier), this guy (played by Ben Dova, which has to be a joke, surely) is the star of Marathon Man's brilliant opening scene…
Why He's A Bad-Ass: This guy's both bad AND bad-ass. Why? He gets into a car-based ruckus with another guy and winds up chasing him through the streets of New York.
It's one of the more bizarre and, yes, funniest car chases ever committed to celluloid - even if the anti-Semitism is hard to swallow. And, alright, it doesn't exactly end well for these two, but for a while there, it was hella entertaining.
Harold - Harold's Going Stiff (2011)
The Pensioner: Just a regular old chap who's got the misfortune of suffering from Onset Rigors Disease (ORD) - or what stuffy British types have labelled an outbreak of a zombie-like virus.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Harold's a pensioner zombie! Well, sort of - he's a zombie who doesn't eat people, which is surely the best kind of zombie? All the good stuff without the risk factor.
He's also just really sweet, particularly in his relationship with Penny Rudge (Sarah Spencer). Bless him.
Peter Weyland - Prometheus (2012)
The Pensioner: The iron-willed founder of the Weyland Co - yes, the company that started it all back in 1979's Alien , when Ripley and co encountered that vicious xenomorph.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Weyland is ruthless, manipulative and secretive. Those aren't necessarily qualities we admire, but we do admire his motivation and drive.
This is the guy, after all, who was so angry at the prospect of dying that he set up a dangerous mission into the far reaches of space in search of a cure. Just because that mission meant the almost certain demises of an entire crew of scientists is par for the course in Weyland's mind…
Abby & Martha Brewster - Arsenic And Old Lace (1944)
The Pensioners: Elderly sisters, Abby (Josephine Hull) and Martha (Jean Adair) are aunts to Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant). They still live together in the old home that Mortimer grew up in.
Why They're Bad-Ass: Abby and Martha have taken it upon themselves to help miserable old men out of their miserable situations. "It's one of our charities," they chitter.
That's where the arsenic of the title comes in - this delectable duo spike the drinks of old bachelors with arsenic, strychnine and a "pinch" of cyanide, ending their suffering.
Mrs. Tutti Bomowski - Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
The Pensioner: Mother to cop Joe (Sylvester Stallone), Mrs. Tutti Bomowski (Estelle Getty) may seem like your average unassuming sixty-something, but as the title suggests, she's got a few secrets rattling around in that make-up bag of hers.
Why She's A Bad-Ass: Tutti takes quite an interest in Joe's case files, and when she gets swept up in one of his dangerous jobs, her true colours come shining through.
There's just something about an old woman with a gun, right?
Harry Coombes - Harry & Tonto (1974)
The Pensioner: When his building is condemned, Harry Coombes (Art Carney) is evicted from his Upper West Side apartment. Instead of finding a new place, he decides to see America - alongside his cat, Tonto.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Cat people are awesome, so Coombes already has that going for him.
Then there's the way that he takes everything resolutely in his stride, from ending up in jail with a Native American to meeting a rather attractive prostitute. It takes a lot to shake this guy.
Elvis - Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
The Pensioner: A retired and long-thought-dead Elvis (Bruce Campbell), who's somewhat past his sell-by-date, and living out his final days in a retirement facility in East Texas.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Sure, the retirement home staff call him Sebastian Haff, but this guy's the King, alright?
Like that wasn't enough, he's also fearless in the face of supernatural nastiness, going up against a reanimated mummy that was stolen from a US museum and is causing havoc in his town. Don't worry, Elvis has this…
Noah Cross - Chinatown (1974)
The Pensioner: A jovial chap, by all accounts, Noah Cross (John Huston) is quick to smile and seems like a top sort of bloke. That is, until you start poking around in that head of his…
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Cross' cool, calm and collected exterior is little more than a mask for his inner sociopath. In reality, Cross is an egotistical control freak who values power above all else.
Whether he's protecting the innocence of his daughters or taking control of the LA water supply, he's of the belief that if something is valuable he simply MUST have it.
Miss Daisy Werthan - Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
The Pensioner: Miss Daisy Werthan (Jessica Tandy), a former school teacher who, at 72 years old, crashes her car and is forced to hire a driver in the form of Hoke Coleburn (Morgan Freeman).
Why She's A Bad-Ass: Miss Daisy is a strong, independent woman, which is why she begrudges having a driver at first.
However, when she finally warms to Hoke, she proves pivotal in his education. Discovering he's illiterate, she becomes his teacher - and soon becomes a pioneer in race relationships, refusing to hire a new maid when hers dies, instead taking care of her home herself.
Warren Schmidt - About Schmidt (2002)
The Pensioner: The sudden death of Warren's wife isn't what sets him off on a mission to improve his life (he barely bats an eyelid at that).
Instead, it's retirement that leaves Warren in a fug, and while writing letters to a Tanzanian boy he's remotely adopted, he sets off in a camper van…
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Like all Jack Nicholson characters, Warren's no-nonsense through and through.
His journey of self-discovery is also a joy, and the film's final scene will have you weeping alongside him.
Minnie and Roman Castevet - Rosemary's Baby (1968)
The Pensioners: With names like that, you'd expect this elderly New York couple to be as sweet as candyfloss - and to begin with they are, keeping up the façade of being good neighbours to young Rosemary (Mia Farrow)…
Why They're Bad-Ass: Then we discover the neighbourly act is all just a ruse to impregnate Rosemary with the Devil's spawn. Bad-ass, no?
Particularly menacing is Minnie (Ruth Gordon), who's sweetness and light in person, but her pushy Jewish behaviour is increasingly spiked with menace as she takes control of Rosemary's life. Chilling stuff.
Ben, Arthur & Joe - Cocoon (1985)
The Pensioners: Ben (Wilford Brimley), Arthur (Don Ameche) and Joe (Hume Cronyn) are residents of a retirement home, and the kind of good-natured, only-occasionally-crotchety old folk you could go for a pint with.
Why They're Bad-Ass: With a little help from the life force contained in a pool, these three become surprisingly strong for their age.
Joe knocks two retirement home managers out using his newfound strength, and together the three of them become heroes when they help the alien Antareans return their precious cocoons to the sea.
Delores Bickerman - Lake Placid (1999)
The Pensioner: A sweet old dear living in Lincoln County, Maine. She's pretty much your average old granny, except…
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Well, Delores considers giant reptiles pets, which is just one step away from her being a mob figurehead, right? The sight of her trotting a cow over to the waters of Black Lake to feed her 30-foot monster is nothing short of astonishing.
She's also not afraid to unleash a whiplash-inducing four-letter expletive, the likes of which you certainly don't expect to come from a diminutive darling like Betty White.
"If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it!"
Frank - Robot & Frank (2012)
The Pensioner: An ex-con living in solitude, Frank (Frank Langella) is having problems with his memory - which is why his son (James Marsden) buys him a robotic butler.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: So your absentee kids have stuck you with a live-in robot you don't want? That's fine, just use said robot as a partner in crime to help you relaunch your dormant career as a jewel thief.
That's Frank's thinking, anyway. He ignores his age and uses Robot as a tool for getting what he wants. Kudos.
Harry - Harry Brown (2009)
The Pensioner: Michael Caine, essentially, being all Michael Caine-like while living on a rough London estate.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Now, vigilantism isn't somebody we generally condone, but you've got to admire Harry's chutzpah. When he sees something that he believes is categorically wrong (and we can't fault his morals there), he decides to take matters into his own hands.
That means telling the scrubber yoofs on his estate to eff off, and using force where necessary. That it devolves into chaos is unfortunate, because his mission statement is pretty goddamn sturdy.
Waldorf & Statler - The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
The Pensioners: They're old. They're fuzzy. And they don't give a fudge about anybody but themselves. Weirdly, they don't seem to have aged since the 1970s…
Why They're Bad-Ass: You can always count on this duo to pop up and deliver a cynical one-liner that keeps the Muppets in check, and in this big-screen outing, they're ragging on Kermit and Miss Piggy.
Statler: Hey look Waldorf, there's a frog and a pig.
Waldorf: Looks like they're in love. Kinda makes you sick, don't it?
Altogether now: "Ooo-hohoho."
Howard - The Treasure Of Sierra Madre (1948)
The Pensioner: The old prospector in Tampico, a Mexican oil town, Howard (Walter Huston) is recruited by Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Curtin (Tim Holt) to help them uncover the lost treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Sure, Dobbs and Curtin can hold their own, but Howard quickly establishes himself as the most bad-ass of this gold-hunting group.
He helps saves a kid in a local village, he's the most knowledgeable, and - pivotally - he's the one who actually finds the gold they're after. Everybody raise a glass to Howard.
Alvin Straight - The Straight Story (1999)
The Pensioner: Alvin (Richard Farnsworth), who doesn't let his lack of a driving license stop him from making the 240-mile journey from Iowa to Wisconsin to visit his brother, who's just suffered a stroke.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Alvin's bad-ass and an ingénue - his solution to a lack of a pair of wheels is to hitch a trailer to his lawnmower and use that to drive to his brother's.
He barely notices the various challenges standing in his way, and Alvin's a resilient, charming soul whose determination is both admirable and inspiring.
Barbara Covett - Notes On A Scandal (2006)
The Pensioner: An old spinster and London teacher. She's lonely but covetous, going after younger ladies with a vehemence that occasionally turns to venom…
Why She's A Bad-Ass: Covett (Judi Dench) is so sure that Sheba (Cate Blanchett) is the one for her that she does everything in her power to convince Sheba of that fact.
Sadly, Sheba's not so convinced, which is why the aptly-named Covett has to resort to manipulation and general meanness. Covett and Sheba are both in the wrong, but Covett's a fine example of a strong-minded woman who'll stop at nothing to get what she wants - no matter the cost.
John Mason - The Rock (1996)
The Pensioner: A 60-year-old British national, John Mason (Sean Connery) has been under lock and key for 30 years for reasons unknown.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: For a start, he's the only guy ever to escape Alcatraz, which has now been seized by terrorists who are plotting to bomb San Francisco unless their demands for $100m are met.
Mason's the guy the FBI call on in this tight spot, and Mason doesn't let them down. Resourceful, smart and tough as nails, he doesn't blanch at the prospect of going up against terrorists - in fact, he seems to quite enjoy it.
Edwin - Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
The Pensioner: The kind of pensioner we want to be when we grow up. Edwin doesn't care that he's getting on a bit; he just wants to have fun. Alright, we'd draw the line at the drug use, but Edwin's life-seizing spirit is nothing short of inspirational.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: This guy's a straight-talker. A non-bull-shitter. And pretty much the best granddad ever. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world," he tells his insecure granddaughter. "I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality."
Better still, Edwin's the one responsible for teaching Olive her hilariously inappropriate dance routine. It's so wrong, but it's so, so funny.
Victoria - RED 2 (2013)
The Pensioner: A former colleague of hired killer Frank (Bruce Willis), Victoria (Helen Mirren) is still in the action game, having this time been contracted to kill Frank. Which puts her in a bit of an awkward position, to be honest.
Why She's A Bad-Ass: She's basically the queen with a double-barrelled gun! Victoria would give even Lara Croft a run for her money in the action stakes, handling weaponry like nobody's business.
You think she kicked ass in the first RED ? Just wait til you see her car-fu scenes in this sequel…
Indiana Jones - Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (2008)
The Pensioner: Everybody's favourite whip-cracker, who's enduring a forced leave of absence after undergoing an FBI investigation.
This time, a still whip-cracking Indy is up against Soviet baddies and, uh, aliens…
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Just because the film's pants doesn't stop Indy from performing some pretty spectacular stunts - even more impressive considering he's considerably older than the last time he evaded giant rolling boulders and invading Nazis.
Here, Indy even survives a nuclear blast. Now THAT is bad-ass.
Walt Kowalski - Gran Torino (2008)
The Pensioner: A retired assembly line worker, Walt's (Clint Eastwood) pretty much as craggy and miserable as they come. He despairs over modern day America, and takes out his bitterness on anybody who comes near him.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Who says old dogs can't learn new tricks? Walt's resolutely racist POV is put to the test when he inadvertently befriends the Hmong boy next door and steps in to protect him from gangster bullies.
Nobody looks quite as cool brandishing a firearm as Clint Eastwood, right?
Jane - What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962)
The Pensioner: Trapped in her childhood years, Jane (Bette Davis) lives entirely in the past - except for when she's having to look after her sister, Blanche (Joan Crawford).
Why She's A Bad-Ass: Jane really puts the 'bad' into 'bad-ass'. Utterly wicked and mental to the max, she takes great pleasure in torturing her wheelchair-bound sister both physically and mentally.
Highlights include serving her pet parakeet to her for dinner - and then serving her rat. Delightful.
Carl Fredricksen - Up (2009)
The Pensioner: Your typical grouchy OAP. Carl's a specs-wearing widower who's left bereft by the death of his wife, and sits out the remainder of his days in his old house - which is due for a little bulldozing by corporate suits.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: When he's signed up for a retirement home, Carl refuses to give in and, reigniting his childhood dream of becoming an explorer, attaches hundreds of balloons to his house and floats off for adventures in far-off lands.
Those adventures include befriending a young Boy Scout and a talking dog, and taking down his twisted boyhood hero in the process. Top bloke.
Maude - Harold & Maude (1971)
The Pensioner: A 79-year-old who enjoys going to funerals (well somebody has to), Maude (Ruth Gordon) is a colourful broad with a sweet voice and a fidelity for quirkiness.
Why She's A Bad-Ass: She rides a motorbike. She don't take crap from no-one. And she's the perfect companion for Harold (Bud Cort), her carefree nature balancing out his all-encompassing morbidity.
Maude also has complete control over her life. She's lived it to the full, and she wants to go out on a high. Admirable.
Yoda - Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Pensioner: He's probably not heading down to the Post Office every week to collect his pension (though you never know), but little old Yoda is definitely retired when we meet him in The Empire Strikes Back.
Wrinkly, babbling, backwards-talking, all of that is a clever mirage that hides the fact that Yoda is in fact a Jedi Master. Or, y'know, THE Jedi Master.
Why He's A Bad-Ass: Even before we saw him buzzing around like an over-caffeinated fly (with a green lightsabre!) in Attack Of The Clones , Yoda had considerable prowess.
For example, he proved once and for all that size doesn't matter by levitating Luke's submerged X-wing from a swamp by using only his mind - while Luke struggled with levitating rocks…
