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101 Skyrim Tweets

In-game ProTips

Super Hint: Most of the inhabitants of Skyrim have pretty severe peanut allergies, so choose mainly weapons with peanut attributes.

Last night I parked my horse in a bad neighborhood and a bear killed it.

Dear residents of Skyrim, I judge you based on the books you have in your home.

Fell into a cage in Skyrim. Smug wizard: "Ah yes! This will b- AAARGH." He forgot about bows.

So remember, in Skyrim it's not theft if you murder first.

Learning what strange ingredients do the hard way. Sticking it in my mouth.

Trying to explain to @juleshwright that I've just spent 2 hours hunting deer and using their hides to make high fashion

I could swear that eating dragon turds in Skyrim made you stronger.

Well my trusty horse in #Skyrim died. He stepped on a small animal and was launched off a cliff. Geometry: The Silent Killer.

Is this real life?

A lot of cooking recipes in #Skyrim use salt which boost healing. That means if I add salt to everything I eat, I'll become healthier!

All you guys taking today off for Skyrim is making is difficult for those of us with legitimate colds.

Took a good nap. My strategy for beating jetlag moving forward: Skyrim.

10 pushups every time I lose a Battlefield match or gain a level in Skyrim

…and my mom just ruined my afternoon plans by showing up and asking to play Skyrim.

*really wants to play Skyrim* *Wishes her dad wasn't such a gamer*

Above: My friend just mimed killing dragons in Skyrim in the middle of the restaurant. Yep. She's a cool broad.@BDRAnneLewis

I'm going to learn how to lucid dream so I can play Skyrim while I sleep as well.

Skyrim is saving me a heap of money, since I no longer have time for eating food or wearing clothes.

Heard Fuchsia's heartbeat at the 25 Week checkup. In 2011-style parenting, I thought: "That sounds like my horse running in Skyrim."

Makes you think

I want to learn the Draconic language from Skyrim. Step 1: learn the differences between all 14 vowels based on insubstantial examples.

Being broke is actually convenient: I have no time for anything but Skyrim. Seriously, how much content can be packed into one game!?!?!?

Today, a brave, young wood elf began his adventure in #Skyrim, and all of history would come to know his name... "Lulzynuts."

My wife just killed a bear in Skyrim who was carrying 9gp. I don't want to know where he was carrying 9gp.

Why do I always end up in the Dark Brotherhood? For Talos' sake! I'm a hammer wielding lizard named Baked Potato (B'hakd Pitaatu)!

Above: "Why are dragons easier to kill than bears?" "Dude, you're Dragonborn, not Bearborn."

Skyrim is helping me beat my alcoholism.

How does #skyrim have sewers but no bathrooms?

Photoshop is my friend!