The return of Trailer Trash!

Our long-time readers will remember a weekly column we used to run, a mischievous little scamp known as Trailer Trash, in which we mercilessly heckled the week’s most odious videographic drivel from our haughty tower of jaded idolatry. Because no one demanded it, Trailer Trash is back from the dustbin of obscurity to provoke, titillate and otherwise flaunt convention. Over the weeks ahead, we’ll be evolving the format, but rest assured gentle reader that we shall continually strive to bring you +1 lulz every Thursday. Without further ado, the trash:

Grey’s Anatomy

Get quarantined! We’re willing to bet that the mysterious outbreak at Seattle Grace is nowhere near as interesting as the RE5’s Progenitor virus or L4D’s No Mercy campaign. At least the ESRB descriptor promises Mild Violence and Sexual Themes. Which poses the question: if you were about to die from the plague, which Grey’s Anatomy love muffin would you hook up with? Who would you direct Mild Violence toward?

Bayonetta vs WET vs Velvet Assassin

Above: Bayonetta story trailer

Above: WET trailer

Above: Velvet Assassin cinematic trailer

Vampy assassinettes, anyone? These three tomatoes are as sexy as they are lethal, and will be locked in a savage deathmatch for 2009’s dominatrix-fetishist dollars. While that certainly makes great trailer fodder, the resulting games may very well disappoint (see Bullet Witch, Onechanbara).

Night at the Museum 2: The Video Game

Night at the Museum 2: Battle for the Smithsonian, starring Ben Stiller and Amy Adams, is getting the videogame treatment. We’re not sure what’s more appalling, the loony caricatures (Napoleon sure was short! ZING!) or the zany anacrhonisms (General Custer on a motorbike? BOING!). Or maybe it’s the implication that children have no imagination and need to be force-fed craptacular edutainment to make history engaging.

Next page: DSi Ware eats poopsicles, and more caustic observations


  • Baconator96 - April 26, 2009 11:44 p.m.

    i vote for weekly TT. its made of epic and win. also, of the 3, velvet assassin seems like the clear winner ReCaptcha: $360 bestows
  • oryandymackie - April 19, 2009 8:55 a.m.

    That "Mixed Messages" game is actually meant for a piece of paper and a pencil. The DSi's fiddly system makes it worse. Man, the Nintendo casuals really are suckers!
  • PinkLenny - April 19, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    There is nothing i want more than for TT to be weekly. my fav was mixed messages with the girl who cant fully open her left eye cause of how much fun shes having
  • crossed23 - April 18, 2009 5:03 p.m.

    ITs funny that they are using girls in the majority of Nintendo promo for their casual crap. My wife has a DS and doesnt even play that crap
  • iluvmyDS - April 18, 2009 3:23 a.m.

    I hate all of these games now.
  • RaIdEn - April 17, 2009 9:08 p.m.

    "kiss my ass motherfuckers!" lmao
  • PCG_Evan - April 17, 2009 6:08 p.m.

    ...plot terrible schemes via Google maps, and desire a system for marrying the queen of Morocco to Adolf Hitler's secretary of state.
  • PCG_Evan - April 17, 2009 6:07 p.m.

    "Seriously, this game is meant to be played with a piece of paper and a pencil, two of the most common items in existence. Making it into DSi Ware actually makes it LESS FUN, guaranteed. If you spend 500 points on this game, a piece of your soul dies forever." Yes, yes, yes. And having played Hearts of Iron III, I can recommend it to those among us that plot
  • theschwartzb - April 17, 2009 1:52 p.m.

    also, more TT plz!!! ReCaptcha: Dixel regarded hmmm, almost sounds dirty
  • Monkey - April 17, 2009 12:50 p.m.

    Awesome to have TT back!!! More please! Why the hell is "Ben Stiller" constantly rocking back and forth in the NATM2 trailer. Does he have some mental issues?
  • Xeacons - April 17, 2009 1:29 a.m.

    OMG!! I almost bought that DSi game! Lack of points saved my soul!
  • batman5273 - April 17, 2009 1 a.m.

  • Cwf2008 - April 17, 2009 12:50 a.m.

    So can someone tell me how the hell Hearts of Iron III contained content inappropriate for children? Besides the fact it might bore them to death?
  • Coolbeans69 - April 17, 2009 12:40 a.m.

    Wow is mixed messages like one of nintendo's highlights like wii music was? That's really, really, really sad. Were those celebrities playing it? Cause based on the nintendo trailers that's what nintendo does now, celebrities playing games on a couch.
  • Forsakenday - April 17, 2009 12:38 a.m.

    Wow. WET? That looks insanely dumb. I feel bad for the people here at GR that need to play it and give it a rating. Although then they can bash it in a review.
  • DasavageJ - April 17, 2009 12:03 a.m.

    Oh ok so if I make like 50 names on GR and have them all comment here that I want more trailer trash then I'll get a weekly dose of Trailer Trash guaranteed right?
  • Pocotron - April 16, 2009 11:28 p.m.

    Whats the point of Iron Heart III? It looks like you can read wat happened during WWII or reCAPTCHA: furious Briggs OH NOEZ NOT THE BRIGGZ!!!!1!11!!!!
  • Gotxxrock - April 16, 2009 9:14 p.m.

    Jesus Christ. Mixed Messages could be done on fucking paper, for free. I mean... people HAV been doing it on fucking paper ever since people decided to have awkward family reunions and the like.
  • SirBonkers - April 16, 2009 8:46 p.m.

    Mixed Messages looks unbelievably LAME!! I find it almost imposable that someone could watch that and say "wow that looks like fun. I want me some of that !" I kept thinking it made more sense as a late April Fool's joke.
  • Skykid - April 16, 2009 8:37 p.m.

    OMFG! Grey's Anatomy is a game now?! It's an epidemic, get the doctor now! lol :)))

Showing 1-20 of 49 comments

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