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SkeleTONS: nearly every bony bastard in the gaming universe

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A few months ago we had this idea to make a “Skeletons of Street Fighter” feature. Street Fighter IV hype was asploding across the webs (GamesRadar included) and we felt there was no better time to excuse a barrage of boney bastards across the site.

Then we thought, “why stop with Street Fighter?” There’ve got to be a billion goddam skeletons creeping through virtual graveyards just begging to have their toothy visage slapped on the immortal internet. Who are we to deny them such a privilege? So, without further yammering, we present, just in time for Halloween (y Dia de los Muertos), the biggest batch of skelleys you’ve ever seen... starting with Street Fighter II.

 

Anyone remotely familiar with television sets and fun should recognize the glowing assortment of bones above. Blanka, one of our office favorites, could charge his body with enough juice to incapacitate opponents, revealing their myriad bone structures in the process. Then came...

 

It’s a deadite dance party! Who knew receiving lethal amounts of muscle-shredding lightning was so fun? Also: love how Akuma and Birdie keep their accessories on even while being fried.

 

SFIII doesn’t have the luxury of Blanka’s X-Ray beams, so you have to go with bendy/stretchy weirdo Necro. Can you tell who’s who just by their writhing skeleton?


 

Skullomania isn’t actually a walking dead man. Instead he’s a soulless corporate shill who has nothing left to live for and decides to dress up like a skeleton and fight crime.


 

Moving from Street Fighter to Mortal Kombat (once upon a time among the most bitter rivalries in all of gaming), we see a distinct shift in skeletal showmanship. No more cartoony depictions, these are the real deal, meant to shock the other player into such a frightened state that he ignores how utterly broken the first Mortal Kombat is. Seriously, it’s crap.


 

Now this is more like it – a fiery, screaming skeleton from MK II that provides macabre pleasure for the victor and a halfway decent gameplay experience for everyone involved. Can someone tell Scorpion that mouths don’t open like that?

Flaming death, this time looking straight on instead of a side view. Kombat was going places when part three released in 1995. The movie had just come out, the franchise was nearly as popular as Street Fighter (if not more), and then they squandered it all on goofy fatalities and dumbass friendships. Maybe MKvsDCU will bring much needed change to the series... plus maybe we get to see Scorpion burn Superman into an ashy pile of smoldering bones.

Next page – Castlevania, Final Fantasy and more classic franchises!

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Halloweek

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43 comments

  • Netsurfer733 - October 30, 2009 5:07 a.m.

    Must...add...shout out...to Warlords Battlecry 1, 2, and 3! Skeleton spam ftw!!!
  • BarryNomad - October 29, 2009 4:40 p.m.

    Wait wait wait... you're telling me that the Saturn classic Mr. Bones did not get a mention?!
  • AntistaIsTheLight - October 28, 2009 2:56 a.m.

    "TimeSplitters 2 is one of the few amazing FPSs fro GameCube, so please" I havent read all the comments so someone might have noticed but i have to be the smart ass to notice...TYPO!!!
  • Mexicutioner - October 27, 2009 2:44 p.m.

    I'm surprised that Goof Troop, a game that starred both Goofy and his son Max, was not mentioned on here. There was a dual of bosses in, I think, the eighth level. The way they fought you was by them throwing a boomerang made of their own bones at you. Additionally, the Goof Troop had a fantastic soundtrack and is probably why I still even remember that damn game.
  • TKTOWA - October 27, 2009 6:27 a.m.

    Mr. Bones, the blues musician from Saturn/PS1? Oh well, it's a little obscure. But big cheers for mentioning Undead Knight from Guardian Heroes/best fighting game ever.
  • mertor3190 - October 27, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Awesome! Halloweek. My birthday is on Halloween, this is perfect.
  • oldgrammastinkyfeet - October 26, 2009 11:39 p.m.

    What about the unlockable character in Skate (2?)
  • SandroTheMaster - November 5, 2008 3:35 a.m.

    Morrowind notwithstanding you forgot the Might and Magic series, which presented awesome skeletons from the first one to the last, including the Heroes of Might and Magic spin-off, and YOU could be a skeleton... well... the mage in your team could become a lich with awesome look... And in Heroes you had a team with Skeletons as the bulk of their forces AND skeletal dragons as a bonus, as well as skeleton Heroes with one that stands out for his personality and grim reapper look. Want a tip? Look at my name.
  • Sly_Fox - November 4, 2008 11:03 p.m.

    you guys missed morrowind
  • iggzy880 - November 3, 2008 5:48 p.m.

    I'm just happy to see Manny and the Grim Fandango crowd named
  • thebigmo1 - November 3, 2008 1:49 a.m.

  • TheWebSwinger - November 2, 2008 8:05 p.m.

    Ya know what, I read this whole book of an article, only because it probably took Brett about a month to do. ...also because it's a damn interesting read.
  • Gorlack2231 - November 2, 2008 6:52 p.m.

    a Entire page for Street Fighter. wow. Are ReDeads form Zelda Zombies or Skeletons?
  • Tikicobra - November 2, 2008 4:38 p.m.

    Medievil FTW! Probably the best PS1 game ever.
  • oreomonkey - November 2, 2008 4:37 a.m.

    wow.... that was not supposed to say that
  • oreomonkey - November 2, 2008 4:36 a.m.

    sıɥʇ ǝʞıן ǝɯosǝʍɐ ɯı ƃɯo
  • Defguru7777 - November 2, 2008 3:38 a.m.

    I love the Bowser skeleton from New Super Mario Bros.
  • Ravenbom - November 2, 2008 2:17 a.m.

    Wow! Holy complete complete list Batman! Or Brettman, if you will... And people say that Americans are just getting fatter year by year. Clearly they all have eating disorders, and are trying to make up for their inadequacies by attacking other sprites.
  • lava_lamp - November 1, 2008 2:11 p.m.

    i wish i could get my hands on a copy of grim fandango i loved pyschonauts and i want to play Shaffer's other games now. (cant wait for brutal legend)
  • ElkRider1 - November 1, 2008 1:07 p.m.

    You missed out Murray, from the Monkey Island franchise! How could you?

Showing 1-20 of 43 comments

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