How fast can you die in... Gears of War: Judgment?

We've reached a landmark in our HFCYDI video series: This is the 10th video! But in all that time, no-one has been able to beat the record set in the second ever HFCYDI when Agent 47 got twung into a tree in Hitman: Absolution and registered what should have been a very beatable 1m30.5s. Well, this week sees the release of Gears of War: Judgment. A game where your colleagues revive you almost instantly if you're down. Is there a way to overcome their over-zealous healing? Let's find out...

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  • cgriff63 - March 23, 2013 1:34 p.m.

    You should do a "How fast can you die in the Prince of Persia reboot."
  • J-Fid - March 23, 2013 8:21 a.m.

    WHAAAT!? That was quick.
  • Swedish_Chef - March 23, 2013 4:03 a.m.

    Well that escalated quickly.
  • Rub3z - March 23, 2013 2:16 a.m.

    I imagine you'd have to delve into some non-AAA or indie game territory to find yourself beating that number... Super Meat Boy, or some other ultra-fast-death twitch game of the sort, like an arcade style-shmup (Geometry Wars, Galaga, etc.) would probably give you the fastest times due to incredibly fast or in some cases virtually nonexistent loading times, combined with no cutscenes and extremely available opportunity for death. However, virtually all the games that have been put up for these videos are pretty much of the mainstream, recently-released AAA variety: Far Cry 3 Tomb Raider BlOps 2 Mario Bros U DMC God of War Ascension Gears Judgment Halo 4 AssCreed III Hitman Absolution The only games from that list that are necessarily arcade-like in nature (at least where frequency/opportunity for death is concerned) are Mario Bros. U (duh) and CoD: Black Ops 2. Anyone certainly should've expected Mario to win, but in modern-gaming fashion it didn't do so well in accordance with the series rules (timer starts as soon as game is started) due to an unskippable cutscene. The same pretty much goes for Black Ops, as the proportion of actual game-playing to cutscene nonsense was substantial... all that really happened was he sprinted forward the instant he was given control and allowed the first enemy to promptly machete him to death. This, actually, is what makes the video series so compelling: it doesn't merely set out to objectively see how fast you can die in any given game, it actively mocks and points out the absurdity of how much modern games increasingly keep us from autonomy, active decision-making, and the possibility of failing, when by all means we should expect to be starting to play the damn game when we select "start game" from the menu. Including arcade-style, hardcore, twitch-action or a variety of indie games to the list would only be an exercise in boredom; because you're not really pointing out much when you can die 0.23 seconds faster in Space Invaders as opposed to Geometry Wars. When we as the player cannot even fail, we have no real impact or stake in what's taking place in-game... ironically, the point when there's a possibility the player can die, even deliberately, is the point when the player can be said to be actually having fun, or at least be engaged with the game on some meaningful level. And yet games increasingly keep us from this point. This is stretched to absurd levels, for example, in the AssCreed III video, when it takes him over 20 minutes to finally get to any point when he can be killed... and this is when he is DELIBERATELY TRYING to do so! And in the DMC video, though shorter than a lot of the other videos, he has to actively disrupt the intended flow of the game by jumping off the first platform into the abyss REPEATEDLY in order to finally achieve a game over. Amazing. Towell; if only for your awesome jokes in the videos, I would commend you, but as I've elaborated above, this video series is quite the ingenious endeavor, and would like to extend further commendation to you if you are responsible for the idea. If not, it's awesome and no doubt fun work for you anyways, and you can thank whoever else came up with this great idea for a video series. Please keep it up. You are the coolest.
  • Sinosaur - March 22, 2013 1:51 p.m.

    ...Good show, GoWJ. Of course, this means we don't get much in the way of jokes... but you won.
  • GR_JustinTowell - March 22, 2013 2:05 p.m.

    You still got the taxi one, which is worth several regular jokes :)
  • Sinosaur - March 22, 2013 2:08 p.m.

    Ah, so this is PREMIUM Joke Factory material. To provide material this good, you have to go for quality over quantity.
  • GR_JustinTowell - March 22, 2013 2:10 p.m.

    Exactly. When the canvas is small, you get out your finest brush :P
  • KA87 - March 22, 2013 8:15 a.m.

    Wow that was really fast and awesome. If only it was not for that loading screen you would have broken 20 seconds. Can't wait to see something beat that number.

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