Good old Uwe Boll. If the despised movie man isn’t making video game flicks where kids get shot in awesome slo-mo, he’s persuading Oscar-winning Sir Ben Kingsley to star in Bloodrayne. What a guy. In terms of celluloid wackiness, though, we think he’s just topped all previous shitty movie moments. Because 53 year-old Dolph Lundgren (aka Rocky IV’s Ivan Drago) will play 38 year-old Jason Statham’s son in a sequel to the Dungeon Siege-inspired In the Name of the King.
Although In the Name of the King 2 is ditching the Dungeon Siege name (which is strange considering there’s a new game coming out on 360 and PS3), at least it’ll have the former He-Man actor playing the Transporter’s nipper. Apparently it’ll involve time-travelling shenanigans of some sort.
Above: He still must break you
Here’s an eloquent description of the film from Raging Boll himself, taken from a Blogtalk Radio interview: “We have Dolph Lundgren and one night he gets attacked by ninjas in his house and falls with the ninjas into a vortex back in time. And then it turns out it's like 50 years after the first part In the Name of the King ended, and everybody is dead, Jason Statham and everybody who was in the first part, got wiped out. He was basically sent into the future, he's the son of Jason Statham, and he was sent into the future, brought up in an orphanage, because the parents felt that they would all die.”
We ain’t exactly Boll’s biggest fans (seeing as he’s pretty much the worst director in existence). But honestly, if you can’t grow a humorous bone and appreciate the full comedic significance of Ivan Drago falling into a vortex while simultaneously kicking ninja ass, then we feel sorry for you.
Dolph, meanwhile, has described Boll in an interview with Screen Junkies as “the evil genius of directing”.
Above: Genius at work
Now to wrap things up, and for no particular reason, here’s a video of the late, great Leslie Nielsen getting his kung-fu on…
What do you mean 'we're supposed to be writing about games'?
Dec 3, 2010