Hand me the tissues
Old consoles becoming obsolete
Were coming up on the first year anniversary of the Xbox One and PlayStation 4. How time flies. Although theyre cool consoles and everything, it does mean one thing: those poor old PS3s and Xbox 360s that you once treasured are being used as elaborate chess boards or expensive footrests.
It was with a heavy heart that I listed my PlayStation 3 and game collection on eBay last week (you can go and buy it if you want, local collection only). Ill have to make sure it goes to a loving home where they play with it every day. Im sorry its big brother is just shinier.
No sequel announcements
Some games are so good we just want more. Fans cry out for sequels, they await announcements at E3, but sometimes these follow ups just never come. You can insert your own Half-Life 3 gag here by the way, Im pretty sure theres no original way to make that joke. Actually, while Im at it, the Half Life games arent that good. There, I said it. Prepare to light your torches!
While youre gathering your angry mob, remember that long awaited sequels almost never live up to the hype. The longer it goes, the more disappointed youre going to be when it finally comes out. Did you know Guns n Roses actually released Chinese Democracy? Thats what Half Life 3 is going to be...
Bad sequels
Alternatively, sometimes games get sequels that we dont even want, and they suck. Not naming any names, but some games take Forever to make, and you want to Nukem off the face of the planet. Wait, who put that picture up there?
Its always a shame when your favourite franchises go south. Having a sequel be worse than its predecessor is probably even more disappointing than not having a sequel at all. At least while youre waiting for a new installment to be announced you can dream of the wondrous product it might be. Then you wake up and its in the shape of Resident Evil 6 and youre already crying.
Your friends don't want to play multiplayer with you
I love Gang Beasts, Nidhogg, Samurai Gunn and all of the games on Sportsfriends. Will someone come and play them with me please? Me playing Johann Sebastian Joust against my desk chair is a depressing sight.
Its equally bad when a cool, new online game comes out, but none of your friends buy it. Or what about when you want to play a multiplayer game online, but none of your friends are around? Im not playing League of Legends with four random assholes thank you very much.
Games getting delayed
Persona 5 was supposed to come out in 2014? Doesn't come out until April 2017. Final Fantasy 13 is announced at E3 2006? Doesn't come out until February 2010. Whether it only lasts a few months or the delays go on for years and years, there's nothing worse than finally almost getting your hands on an anticipated game only to see its release date slip back again and again and again.
Going back to games you thought were good as a kid
Look, dont ask me why, but I played the hell out of Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone when I was younger. I dont think Id even read the books at that point. I managed to complete it somehow. Yes, even the broomstick riding bits.
Apparently I didnt even realise that the main characters dont have the right voice actors, or look much like Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and that ginger. Even at age 12 they clearly didnt want their name attached to this product. Awful frame rate, terrible graphics and nonsensical game mechanics. What was I thinking? Nostalgia is a dangerous thing.
When good characters die
Forget Game of Thrones: we all know that games have the true heart wrenching deaths. Final Fantasy VII, Shadow of the Colossus, The Walking Dead. You all know what Im talking about. Theyre the saddest moments a game can throw at you, yet theyre usually the most powerful and most talked about.
They dont even have to be good characters; a whole bunch of great villains have met their demise over the years. Vaas was by far the most interesting character in Far Cry 3, and they killed him off halfway through? And that smarmy jock Jason survived all the way to the end?! What a tragedy.
Games not living up to the hype
There are too many games listed as Halo killers or World of Warcraft beaters to fit on this slide. Mediocre games often compare themselves to more popular franchises because of their crippling lack of originality. How many of them actually managed to deliver on what they promised? Er, Ill get back to you on that one. But if I round up to the nearest ten, itll roughly...zero.
Remember how cool Lair looked when that trailer debuted? You get to ride a dragon! Do you remember actually playing it? Of course you dont. Oh yeah, and what about Haze? That game is gonna blow Master Chief out of the water when it comes out. Wait, it came out already? Couldve fooled me. Oh, I see Master Chief is still in the water. Waving at you. In his swimming trunks.
Dry your eyes
Now that weve all had a good cry and weve hugged our loved ones, its time to dry those tears and remember its not all doom and gloom. Big games are starting to come out again, hooray! Destiny, Dragon Age Inquisition, Sunset Overdrive, theyre all going to be great, right? Please tell me theyre going to be great, I need a pick me up How about you discuss some of your saddest moments as a gamer in the comments below? Just try not to depress yourselves too much.
Now, man-up and read more features. Here's one about The Real Reason Sex In Games Is So Awful, and another on The Most Ludicrous Game Hardware Knock-Offs.
