James Franco as Jesse Custer
Why He’s Perfect: Besides the fact that Franco’s stock has never been higher, he genuinely looks a good fit for the titular man of God. Writer Garth Ennis initially drew inspiration for the character from James Dean’s handsome badass persona, and there’s no doubt that Franco has a touch of the Rebel Without A Cause about him. Although in this case he’d be playing a rebel with a pretty heavy cause: to track down the errant Creator and hold him to account for his misdeeds. In case you hadn’t guessed, the subject material is fairly controversial stuff…
Essential Scene: An unshaven, bleary-eyed Franco sits in a seedy watering hole, dog collar askew, with a half-empty bottle of whisky in front of him. Let the audience know nice an early that this is no ordinary pastor…
But if Franco can’t do it…
Timothy Olyphant as Jesse Custer
Why He’s Perfect: On the big screen, Olyphant has tended to find himself hamstrung by trashy, underwritten roles ( Hitman and Die Hard 4 spring to mind) that fail to take advantage of his brooding screen presence. However, his television work in Deadwood and Justified has proved that given a sharp script and a character of substance, Olyphant can be a truly magnetic performer.
He’s got Custer’s mixture of world-weary bitterness and grudging moral scruples down pat, and is more than capable of handing out the odd ass-whooping here and there. If his turn in The Crazies was the start of a cinematic renaissance, we’d love to see him follow it up by bagging the plum role in Preacher .
Essential Scene: Olyphant recues a hooker from the local saloon by administering a ruthless beating to an over-enthusiastic punter. He’s a chivalrous kind of guy, our Jesse!
But if Olyphant can't do it...
Guy Pearce as Jesse Custer...
Why He’s Perfect: Because he’s got to be one of the most intriguing A-listers in Hollywood! The thing about Pearce’s creations is that they are rarely one-dimensional, from Memento ’s enigmatic but brutal Leonard to L.A. Confidential ’s slimy but indefatigable Exley. Even his boo-hiss turn in The King’s Speech was imbued with enough charm to make you warm to King Edward, despite your better judgment.
Meanwhile, anyone unconvinced as to his gun-slinging abilities should take a look at bruising Aussie-Western The Proposition . Trust us, Pearce would make one righteous Custer!
Essential Scene: We’d like to see some interaction between Custer and Jody, the man who trained him in hand-to-hand combat, who just so happens to be the same man who killed his father. Custer’s mingled feelings of hatred and respect would certainly put Pearce through his paces.
But if Pearce can't do it...
James Marsden as Jesse Custer...
Why He’s Perfect: Marsden was initially sounded-out to play the role of Custer back when the film was languishing in development hell in the early noughties, and whilst he may not seem the obvious choice, we think there’s something to be said for subverting his matinee idol persona with Custer’s down and dirty lifestyle.
His career has stalled somewhat after the promise of the X-Men series and the muted response to Superman Returns , but Preacher could be just the title to give it a much-needed shot in the arm. We know he can do action, and he can be pretty funny when given the chance, as anyone who sat through Sex Drive (in which he was the undoubted highlight) will testify.
Essential Scene: We cannot wait to see the first scene where Custer’s eyes go red and he drops the Word Of God upon some wrongdoers (his big ability is his booming, God-like speech, which when phrased into a command, is impossible to resist). Marsden’s got previous with red-eyed heroes after all!
But if Marsden can’t do it…
Sharlto Copley as Jesse Custer
Why He’s Perfect: He might not have such a physical presence as the others on this list, but Copley could certainly bring the requisite mixture of authority, intensity and charm to the table. He’s already demonstrated his action chops with his part in The A-Team , whilst his role as District Nine ’s anti-hero has shown he can conjure a flawed protagonist with real depth. Jesse Custer is far from your run-of-the-mill action hero, so why should the man to play him be any different?
Essential Scene: Confronted by a posse of redneck troublemakers, Sharlto refrains from bruising his knuckles by simply commanding them to “burn”. Something similar happens in the comics, with Custer’s words followed by a grisly case of spontaneous combustion…
But if Copley can’t do it…
Casey Affleck as Jesse Custer
Why He’s Perfect: The Gone Baby Gone star always makes for an interesting watch, and his turn as The Killer Inside Me ’s psychotic Deputy Sheriff was downright terrifying. If he could bring that sort of intensity to the table for Custer (minus his more rapey sensibilities), we could have a seriously heavyweight performance on our hands.
Custer is about as bitter and jaded a hero as they come, and Affleck’s laconic charm could be just the way to bring that character to life. We’d certainly go and watch him…
Essential Scene: Affleck would be adept at handling some of the character’s more comedic moments, notably the occasion at which he commands a Klansman to “shit yourself”.
Blake Lively as Tulip O'Hare
Why She’s Perfect: Tulip is Custer’s love interest, a trigger-happy, hard as nails orphan with an aversion to tolerating any shit. All of which might sound a little unsuitable for the star of Gossip Girl , if it hadn’t been for her startling performance as The Town ’s tart with a heart.
That film saw her whip up a concoction of vulnerability, flintiness and allure, all of which are required for a convincing Tulip. Whilst she’s already got one comic-book movie on the go in the form of The Green Lantern , we think Tulip would be far more up her street.
Essential Scene: With Custer caught in the crosshairs of a lone gunman, Tulip picks off his aggressor at the last possible moment. We’d like this to be the fashion in which the pair are re-introduced (Custer’s entry into the clergy having originally separated them)…with some good old-fashioned gunplay!
But if Lively can’t do it…
Jessica Biel as Tulip O'Hare
Why She’s Perfect: She’s got the sort of rangy, athletic physique that would put you off messing with her, whilst being drop-dead gorgeous at the same time. Not many can pull off a Jessica Rabbit impersonation, but Biel did just that on Saturday Night Live.
She’s got an action CV as long as your arm, and would be more than convincing as the preternaturally accurate marksman of the comics. If they decide to include her descent into booze and drug addiction, it could be the sort of challenging role that propels Biel’s career onto the next level.
Essential Scene: As we’ve mentioned, the booze and drugs angle would be a nice inclusion so as to keep Biel off action-girl autopilot. Maybe we could see a bit of tinkering with the timeline of the comics, and have her in a substance-addicted mess as a result of Jesse’s abandonment…
But if Biel can’t do it…
Kristen Bell as Tulip O'Hare
Why She’s Perfect: Her diminutive physique might be at the other end of the scale from Jessica Biel’s Amazonian appearance, but the comic-book character isn’t exactly a bruiser, more a gritty, ruthless killer! And there’s something about Kristen Bell, whether from her bitchy turn in Forgetting Sarah Marshall or her sociopathic stint on Heroes , that makes us think she’d be quite frightening when crossed!
Essential Scene: Having been reunited with Custer, Tulip shows she’s not about to forgive and forget in a hurry by booting the Preacher in the groin. She’s not the kind of girl you just walk out on you know!
But if Bell can’t do it…
Ali Larter as Tulip O'Hare
Why She’s Perfect: Another actress with the magic combination of beauty and balls (not literally…that might be the magic combination for some, but not for us!), Larter has spent too long languishing in dud horror films, when she can do so much more than run and scream.
Another to have demonstrated her arse-kicking prowess in Heroes , Larter is a bona fide action star, but would benefit from playing a character with a more three-dimensional backstory. O’Hare’s bruising upbringing and tortured love-life could be just the ticket…
Essential Scene: Not necessarily a scene that Larter would act, but we’d like to see a significant flashback to O’Hare’s childhood, so as to explain why she is how she is. We don’t want her portrayed as just another “girl power” stereotype…
But if Larter can’t do it…
Katee Sackhoff as Tulip O'Hare
Why She’s Perfect: One for the fanboys this, but bear with us. Katee Sackhoff might not be a household name to your average moviegoer, but her performance as Starbuck in the superlative Battlestar Galactica series has us convinced that Tulip could be the perfect vehicle for her to reach a wider audience.
Her character on the show was a hard-drinking, hot-headed, sexually voracious badass, all of which are qualities that could equally apply to Tulip. She’s definitely an outside bet, but if the producers want to go for an up and coming actress, they couldn’t do much better.
Essential Scene: A barroom interlude in which Tulip drinks Jesse under the table before provoking a mass brawl and landing herself( kicking and screaming, naturally) in the local jailhouse.
Michael Fassbender as Cassidy
Why He’s Perfect: Cassidy is a 100-year-old Irish Vampire with a need for blood but a taste for whiskey…we’re not sure whether he’d thank us for it, but that brief description instantly makes us think of Michael Fassbender!
He could embody Cassidy’s trademark brand of dissolute, dishevelled charm in his sleep, and would offer a wonderful comic foil to any of our picks for Custer. We particularly like the idea of him alongside Timothy Olyphant, balancing his steely determination with some boozey mayhem.
Essential Scene: A flashback to the Easter Rising, where Cassidy fought as an Irish volunteer. We’d like Fassbender to show off his dashing side before submitting to the twin temptations of bottle and vein.
But if Fassbender can’t do it…
Colin Farrell as Cassidy
Why He’s Perfect: It’d be quite the piece of stunt casting, wouldn’t it? And who better to play a booze-sodden Irish reprobate than Hollywood’s favourite (ex) hellraiser? It’d also give him the opportunity to atone for Daredevil , even though his cartoonish villain provided some of that film’s more palatable moments.
He’s done plenty of action in the past, and as In Bruges demonstrated, he’s got an excellent comic touch, so if he’d be willing to take a supporting role, he’d be an excellent addition to the cast.
Essential Scene: Cassidy’s fecklessness is fully demonstrated by his accidental killing of a young girl, when he drinks too deeply from her after a night on the tiles. Needless to say, Custer is not impressed…
But if Farrell can’t do it…
Paddy Considine as Cassidy
Why He’s Perfect: One of the most underrated actors working today, its always great to see Paddy Considine occasionally cropping up in bigger-budget fare. Trouble is, it doesn’t happen nearly enough, and when it does, it’s usually restricted to the sort of bit-part he took in The Bourne Ultimatum .
Considine’s blend of easy charm and occasional violence (he’s equally at home playing it for laughs in Hot Fuzz as he is with the altogether grittier Dead Man’s Shoes ) would lend itself well to a character who whilst likeable, is deeply messed up.
Essential Scene: A grisly scene in which his superhuman speed and strength eviscerates a hapless assailant. He might like a drink, but Cassidy is not a man to be crossed…
But if Considine can’t do it…
Sam Rockwell as Cassidy
Why He’s Perfect: We like the furtive, conniving side that Rockwell brings to the party, not to mention his quick wit. Okay, so he’s not exactly got an action hero’s build, but the thing about Cassidy is that despite his superhuman abilities, he’s not much of a fighter, particularly when he’s up against a similarly gifted opponent.
Rockwell has already proven he can do the Western thing with his turn as Casey Affleck’s brother in The Assassination Of Jesse James , and has got just enough world-weariness about him to convey the strain that eternal life has had on the ageless vamp.
Essential Scene: A scene in which Custer finally loses his rag and puts a beating on Cassidy. We need to be shown that for all his powers, Cassidy is no match for the Preacher in a fist fight.
Clint Eastwood as Saint Of Killers
Why He’s Perfect: Okay, so we know this is fantasy casting given that Clint has stepped away from acting, but if he were ever to reconsider his decision, the Saint Of Killers is just made for him! An embittered old man killed on a revenge mission, the Saint was such a badass that Hell couldn’t hold him. Newly appointed the Patron Saint of Murder and Assassination, he roams the earth collecting the souls of those who die by violence.
Seriously, we can’t imagine anyone better for this than Clint. The Saint was even designed with his character from Unforgiven in mind. It almost certainly won’t happen, but there would be a lot of happy fanboys if it did!
Essential Scene: The Saint wipes out an entire bar full of gunslingers with his trusty pair of Colt revolvers. Forged from the sword of the Angel of Death, they never miss…
But if Eastwood can’t do it…
Ron Perlman as Saint Of Killers
Why He’s Perfect: If the makers decide that an elderly man isn’t quite imposing enough, we’d love to see gravel-voiced man-mountain Ron Perlman in the role. He’s no stranger to playing exiles from Hell, and would bring a more physical approach to the Saint’s status as an immovable, inevitable killer. There aren’t many characters who can intimidate the Preacher, but the Saint Of Killers is one of them, and he needs to be suitably terrifying to get that across. We wouldn’t pick a fight with Perlman, would you?
Essential Scene: It’d be great to see Perlman batting off a hail of bullets as if they were flies. In the comics, the character is impervious to pain, and even weathers the impact of a nuclear missile without flinching. He’s nails, basically.
But if Perlman can’t do it…
Sam Elliott as Saint Of Killers
Why He’s Perfect: The Saint Of Killers is something akin to the ultimate cowboy, and when we imagine the ultimate cowboy, he looks more than a bit like Sam Elliott. Okay so he’s a bit of a Western stereotype, but so is the Saint, so there’s nothing wrong with that.
His earthy, resonant tones and prodigious ‘tache have often been used to genial, benevolent effect, but we’d really like to see him playing the villain, and playing him straight. Casting such a beloved actor as the embodiment of violence would be a jarringly effective move.
Essential Scene: The Saint appears on the horizon after a seemingly endless pursuit. He’s as relentless as the Terminator, with vastly superior facial hair!
Ian McShane as God
Why He’s Perfect: As you might have guessed, the Man Upstairs in Preacher ’s universe is a little different to the bearded gent we’re more accustomed to hearing about. A narcissistic tyrant demanding total obedience from his subjects, he flees from heaven after Jesse receives his newfound power (a product of his soul fusing with Genesis, the terrifyingly powerful product of an unholy union between an angel and demon) leaving creation to fend for itself.
Ian McShane has the requisite gravitas to play the errant deity, but could also provide the self-serving slipperiness of Ennis’s creation. A cowardly, conniving God…the Daily Mail will just love it!
Essential Scene: The final showdown between God and Custer. What price a Deadwood reunion between Olyphant and McShane?
But if McShane can’t do it…
Titus Welliver as God
Why He’s Perfect: Yes, we know this is beginning to sound like a Deadwood love-in, but that’s not the show that gave us the idea. No, it’s Welliver’s performance as Lost’ s Man In Black that makes us think he’d be a wonderful God (a strange sentence we know, but bear with us…).
In Lost he plays a mysterious and duplicitous character, seemingly possessed of God-like abilities without the corresponding love of humanity. To our mind, that sounds just like Ennis’s interpretation of the great Creator.
Essential Scene: An exchange with the Preacher in which he explains his motivations in plain English. We’ll have no Abrams-esque subterfuge here, thank you very much!
Shia Labeouf as Arseface
Why He’s Perfect: No, we haven’t nicked this one from Viz ! Arseface is the unfortunate moniker of an abused teen who chooses to end it all in the manner of his hero, Kurt Cobain, only to balls-up his shot, leaving him not only alive, but with a seriously deformed face to boot.
We reckon Shia would be perfect for this, not least because we don’t want him iplaying any of the other characters. If he wants to rack up some goodwill amongst the movie-going public, playing a character named “Arseface” is surely the way to do it...
Essential Scene: It has to be the shotgun scene doesn’t it? How we wish Sam Witwicky had taken similar steps…
