Goat Simulator Achievements and Quests guide

Devil Goat

You’ll need to sacrifice 5 living beings on the red pentagram to unlock this achievement and gain demonic goat powers. The quickest and easiest way is to first enter the door at the top of Goat Tower in your spawn field and hop on to the throne until you respawn outside with goat minion summoning powers. Now all you need to do is stand on the pentagram and summon 5 goat carcasses to become Devil Goat.

Around the World on 5 Trampolines

To obtain this achievement, you’ll need to bounce on all 5 trampolines on the map in 1 jump, bouncing on each trampoline only once. Start at the construction site and either drop down onto the trampoline here from the crane or just jump onto it from the small ledge next to it. Engage ragdoll and slow mo and point your goat towards the swimming pool. There are 2 trampolines here and once you’ve bounced on each of those, look for the next one over the fence next to the greenhouse. The final trampoline it to the left, across the road in the spawn field. If you jump on any of the trampolines more than once, including the first one, you’ll have to start again.

Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3?

Having already gathered the 2 Walker statues on the pentagram from the achievements Pedestrian and LOEK master, you need to find the third object to complete the sacrifice. You'll be pleased to discover that the third object is that little bastard robot from the shipping container dangling from the crane and boy, does he deserve it! Use the trampoline to get inside the container and headbutt the robot to incapacitate it before it has the chance to shove you back out. Stick him with your goat tongue and drag his shiny metal ass to the pentagram to complete the sacrifice.

Involuntary QA

Prepare for the most sacred of all QA duties; crashing a game deliberately. Access the menu and go to Keybindings. Hit TAB or the tilde key on your keyboard (the one that looks like a squiggly eyebrow), whichever brings up the console at the bottom of the screen, then type "BeginBVT" and press ENTER. If nothing happens when you press this key, try “T” instead. After you restart the game, you will have unlocked the achievement.

The Flapmaster

Pop inside Coffee Stain Studios and upstairs to the big-screen. Walk up to it to boot up the Flappy Goat game and persevere until you rack up 10 points. It is highly advisable to play the game sans demonic and minion summoning powers, because otherwise every time you hit the flap key, you’ll be surrounded by goats and evil looking balls of furniture that will clutter up the place no end. You have been warned…

I can’t believe that worked

Just pull off 10 front flips in a row. Head to the Low Gravity Testing Centre to make this as easy as goat pie.

Cardio kills your gains

Find yourself a plump looking candidate, stick them with your tongue and drag them to the treadmill in the garage of the farmhouse next to the spawn point. As soon as their doughy body makes contact with the treadmill the achievement will be unlocked.

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Shabana Arif
Shabana was born looking like a girl wearing a Pikachu hoodie, so when such things became popular, she fitted right in. She writes guides, reviews and features for GR+ when she isn't screaming at Dark Souls 2 on YouTube.