Trixie Virus - The Crazies (2010)
The Disease: The Trixie virus, a Rhabdoviridae prototype that was created as a deadly biological weapon.
It gets into the water supply of Ogden Marsh, previously the “friendliest place on Earth”. That’s not quite as true post-epidemic…
Most Gruesome Symptoms: As the title suggests, you get a mad case of the crazies – cue loony eyes and a bloodthirsty desire to hack people to pieces.
How Long You’d Last: Bit pointless to ask; either way you’re screwed.
If you’re infected, you’re done for; if you’re not, you’ll soon have your brains bashed in.
Rat Virus Mulberry Street (2007)
The Disease: It’s every city-dweller’s biggest fear – a virus carried by rats.
That’s a terrifying notion considering that in London alone you’re never more than a few feet away from one of the filthy rodents.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: After being infected, you quickly transform into an evil-looking rat-like creature with a fondness for human flesh.
How Long You’d Last: Well, let’s put it this way – the virus works so quickly you barely have any time to notice anything’s wrong before realise you suddenly have a tail.
T-Virus - Resident Evil (2002)
The Disease: Created by Dr. Charles Ashford, the T-Virus was originally intended to be a cure for a degenerative disease, but its ability to stimulate pre- and post-mortem cellular growth eventually kills the injectee.
It’s both airborne and transferable by blood, which means you can get infected if an infected person, say, bites you. Lovely.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: Despite killing you, the virus sits in the victim’s brain and reanimates the body – yep, we’re in zombie territory.
How Long You’d Last: It can take as little as three hours for the virus to kill you, then turn you into a zombie.
Dino-Virus Carnosaur (1993)
The Disease: Created by Dr. Jane Tiptree (Diane Ladd), the Dino Virus causes infected women to fall pregnant with, yuhuh, baby dinosaurs.
Sounds cute enough, except Tripp wants dinosaurs to reclaim the Earth and wipe out humanity in the process.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: Instead of giving birth conventionally (well, this isn’t exactly a conventional pregnancy), pregnant women are killed as the dinosaur rips itself free Alien -style.
How Long You’d Last: If you’re impregnated, you’re pretty much doomed.
Rage 28 Days Later (2002)
The Disease: A hugely contagious blood-bone virus known only as the ‘Rage’, this disease lives up to its name by turning anybody who’s infected into a raving, ravenous loon.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: Though director Danny Boyle’s adamant this isn’t a horror film, let’s not beat around the bush – we’re definitely dealing with zombies here.
That means the gore-loving infected go rabid and attempt to kill anything that looks like it has a pulse.
How Long You’d Last: Ingesting just a single drop of blood from somebody infected with the Rage can have you vomiting and screaming like a nutter in under a minute.
Better run, eh?
Tenafly Viper - Street Trash (1987)
The Disease: An infection caused by drinking a particularly cheap brand of 60-year-old wine called Tenafly Viper.
A liquor store owner sells it to some homeless people, despite the fact that it’s well past its sell-by date. Dodgy tums all round.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: Quite simply: you turn into an oozy pile of goo.
Ah, we do like a good melting.
How Long You’d Last: Infection seems to be pretty instantaneous, and there’s no known cure.
Prepare for one heck of a hangover.
Goo Disease Infection (2004)
The Disease: Discovered in an overworked general hospital, this ridiculously messy disease starts out as a black rash before getting altogether gooier…
Most Gruesome Symptoms: First turning you crazy, the virus then liquefies your organs until they resemble little more than a green oozy substance.
You’ll look like you’ve been Slimer-ed.
How Long You’d Last: Not long; within hours of attempting to treat a goo-ified patient, a nurse goes mad, then bleeds green gunk from her eyes and ears.
DC2 Planet Terror (2007)
The Disease: A biochemical agent known both as DC2 and its codename ‘Project Terror’, this gruesome virus is released into a town as gas.
It turns the townspeople into deformed flesh-munchers.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: The horrific mutations themselves, which range from massive, oozing pustules to burn-like skin problems.
How Long You’d Last: These guys are pretty damn mean, so unless you’ve got a gun-legged Rose McGowan on your team, it’s unlikely you’ll make it through the night.
Splinter Disease Splinter (2008)
The Disease: A horrific virus that causes spiny, spearing darts to erupt from the body and tear it apart.
Get stuck by a splinter and something really horrible is going to happen to you.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: The splinters are bad enough, but worse still is the way in which a splinter-infected person can Frankenstein’s-monster itself by joining together with other bits of a splinter-infected person.
How Long You’d Last: If you’re unfortunate enough to get a splinter, you have roughly five seconds before it starts to deform your body in horrific, painful ways.
Flesh-Eating Virus - Cabin Fever (2002)
The Disease: Inspired by director-writer Eli Roth’s experiences with a skin infection, Cabin Fever ’s singularly disgusting disease is a flesh-eating virus that’s in the water.
See, the rotting cadaver of an infected hermit has been festering in a reservoir, poisoning the water supply.
Most Gruesome Symptoms: Well, it eats your flesh. Right off your body.
And it doesn’t spare anybody – one poor dear manages to scrape half her leg off while shaving...
How Long You’d Last: If you don’t drink the water, you’ll be fine.
Otherwise, better start saying your prayers.