Above: Alarmingly, there's more than one of these wretched things out in the wild
The Football (Soccer) Control Mat
This horrendous mashup of infrared sensor kicky thing and dance mat style pressure pads probably felt like a great idea. You swing your leg across the sensor to shoot, lob or pass the ball. In some versions, you even control the movement of the player by stepping onto areas representing the buttons, like L1 or up. In practice, though, it feels like your brain's been rewired by hamfisted drunkards. We're still recovering from our last encounter with one of these aberrations.
They say: "The first interactive football controller"; "Compatible with ALL football games"; "Give your football games an extra-special twist!".
What they don't say: "Will leave even the most agile of gamers disorientated"; "Give your ankles an extra-painful twist!"; "Humiliate yourself in the comfort of your own living room."