Final Fantasy 14 players demand minion of chonky patch 7.5 dungeon boss "immediately," and there's hope as Square Enix joins in: "Chort"

Final Fantasy 14 is back in the limelight with its recent reveal of new expansion Evercold and patch 7.5, the latest post-Dawntrail update to arrive with a challenging trial and dungeon – a dungeon that contains a very, erm, chonky boss.

In case you haven't had the pleasure of experiencing it yet yourself, the latest Final Fantasy 14 dungeon – The Clyteum – harbors an end boss that's large and in charge… and incredibly meme-able.

He is everywhere in the community online right now, circulating the web in all his chunky glory, standing as the MMO's latest rotund icon (sorry, Fat Cat). Just look over on Reddit, where folks are already demanding mounts and minions of the boss: Chort.

[Spoiler: 7.5] Our party's reaction to the 2nd boss in the new dungeon on release day. We all stopped in our tracks. I'm the tank. from r/ffxiv

"We're gonna need a Chort minion, immediately," writes one fan. Others "concur," sharing that they're "devastated" to learn Chort isn't already a minion obtainable in The Clyteum – and, honestly, same.

A separate thread sees someone comment, "Welp, now I need a Chort mount. He can carry me on his shoulders." Another player jokes, "I am literally in love with Chort, sorry ladies and gentlemen." In other words, people are being very normal.

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So normal, in fact, that Square Enix itself has caught on to all the memes, jokes, and amusing adoration for Chort. In its own post, the developer simply writes, "Chort" – and, yes, that's enough to leave us all in shambles. Does this mean a minion is underway? Probably not, but it's still hilarious.

The official Discord and Xbox accounts are even joining in on the fun, responding to Square Enix with their own variations of Chort's name.

There's plenty of fan art to go around in the replies, too – and, yes, begging. "We want a minion, guys," as one person points out. "I don't care what he's named in other languages. We need tiny Chort." Others ask, "Could we get a Chort minion?" I certainly hope so.

Although I'm personally unwavering in my love for the Sand Fox minion myself, I'd be lying if I said I didn't yearn for a little Chort minion to add to my ever-growing collection of silly pets.

He's just a li'l guy, after all, and he'd help tide us over during the wait for 8.0. Between him and the recent accidental Senor Otter Pack removal, the community is in dire need of something cute and minion-shaped… a hole Chort could fill (and then some).

Final Fantasy 14 Evercold promises to scrap the MMO's 2-minute meta and change its jobs for the better, and we're all thanking the Twelve: "Nobody will miss it."