Since the first trailer for Super Mario Bros. Wonder, the world has been contemplating a single, horrible question: what does elongated Mario really look like? Well, folks, we now have an answer, and it's every bit as horrifying as you might've imagined.
There's a level in Super Mario Bros. Wonder called Sproings in the Twilight Forest where everything appears as a dark silhouette against a colorful background. Picking up the Wonder Flower in this level will turn your character - and many of the stage's enemies - into an elongated version with an uber-long torso. A brief glimpse of this stage appeared in the game's very first trailer, and ever since then I've been wondering - nay, forced to wonder - what that long Mario would look like in normal lighting.
Yeah, sure, there's a certain horror in Mario and Luigi just looking like human tree trunks, but there's something about Nabbit's inhuman proportions that's deeply upsetting. Peach gets the benefit of a super-long skirt to hide whatever's going on with her, and Yoshi honestly just looks like he's having a good time.
It's really Toad and Toadette that I'll never be able to get out of my mind. They both look like Eldritch horrors, breaking the bounds of Euclidean geometry with their terrible angles. Good luck sleeping tonight, folks.
Who needs the best horror games when you can just look at a Super Mario Bros. Wonder mod?
