11. Escape Dead Island
10. Jurassic Mahjong
I'm not quite sure what's so 'Jurassic' about this mahjong. Sure, we've got a dorky-looking scientist and what look like dino eggs in the background - but those tile motifs seem no different than the 9,999 other PC mahjong games out there. Couldn't they be, oh, I don't know - claw marks and palm fronds instead of bamboo shoots and Chinese characters? Here, maybe a look at the game's title screen will offer a little more insight into Jurassic Mahjong's namesake...
WHAT THE HELL?! Suddenly, things in Jurassic Mahjong went from 'mundane blandness' to 'wildly racist depiction of a pompous white man bringing hovering robot technology to caricatures of dark-skinned natives'. I can't even process what I'm seeing right now. And what is with... that... one guy...
...
...what is his deal? What on Earth could be making him so scared?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
9. Lost Lands: Dark Overlord
Is... is that supposed to be the Dark Overlord we're looking at? You mean to tell me that the creature which gave countless kids nightmares after they saw Howard the Duck started as... this?! I have so many questions that I don't even know where to begin.
8. Roadside Assistance Simulator
Roadside Assistance Simulator - or Road Ass Sim, as it's colloquially known - is the kind of game you play when you literally have nothing better to do with your life. Only one of these RAS vehicles appears to have a driver, and I can't figure out if his expression denotes exhilarated joy, pants-soiling terror, or some combination of the two.
7. Zombie Trek: Driver Survival
In a chilling twist, Zombie Trek posits a world where the dead come back to life as horrendously blurry pictures of a smiling game developer covered in tomato sauce. Instead of chowing down on brains, they hunger for speedometers suspended in midair as if by magic. Brought to you by a studio that uses two fluffy animals framed by a heart as its logo.
6. Mining Industry Simulator
'Bill, I don't know how to tell you this... You know the logo you made for the cover of our game? The image that everyone will identify our product by? Well guess what, Bill - you forgot to include ONE OF THE WORDS IN THE THREE-WORDS-LONG TITLE, BILL. WHAT - DID YOU BREAK FOR LUNCH AFTER YOU FINISHED THE 'Y' IN INDUSTRY, BILL?! Suffice it to say, Bill, you're fired. But even I have to admit - you look damn good in that suit/hard-hat ensemble. I'll never say you didn't do anything for our game's terrible box art.'
