Demented engineer vs. child monster summoner
Last week we asked you, the readers, to decide who would win in a fight-to-the-death between Isaac Clarke and Oliver. You have spoken. One fighter has emerged victorious. The other has been slain. Here is what transpired in the fight's final moments.
"No way kid," said Isaac Clarke to the wide-eyed toddler boy. "Monsters, no matter how cute, are bad news. They're all bad news. Trust me, I know." Isaac reflected on his encounters with Necromorphs. He'd lost a lot of good people to the flesh-molesting horrors. A cold drip of sweat ran down his back. Great, he thought to himself, probably not sleeping tonight.
"No way, meanie!" shouted Oliver, mustering the biggest big boy voice he could manage while simultaneously gripping his wand. "They're nice and fun and pretty! Look! See?" With a wave of his magic stick, Oliver summoned Drippy and two cute Familiars to his side. The adorable creatures greeted Isaac with a smile. Drippy waddled over to his leg, and hugged it gently. "Hello!" it said in a gruff, manly voice. "I'm Dripp--"
"OH JESUS CHRIST, NECROMORPH!" Isaac screamed, whipping out his Plasma Cutter and immediately removing the arms of the foul beast. Blood sprayed everywhere. The little monster screamed in agony. "NOT AGAIN!" Isaac cried out. Drippy rolled on the ground, crying out in pain while his vacant armholes sprayed blood like a firehose. Isaac silenced its cries with a swift stomp.
Poor Oliver stared in horror as Isaac used Kenisis to pick up what remained of Drippy's corpse before launching it at the nearest Familiar--a cute sword-wielding dog thing--impaling it with Drippy's beak. The Familiar howled in pain, its body pinned to a nearby wall by Drippy's lifeless head. Tears cascaded down Oliver's face. Drippy was all he had left in the world. Everyone he had ever loved was dead.
Isaac kept shooting, over and over again, consumed by an uncontrollable insanity. Little monster limbs littered the ground. The Familiars were bleeding out, shrieking in excruciating agony.
"No!" Oliver sobbed. The boy was covered from head to toe in the life juices of his favorite Familiars. There would be no more magical adventures, no more cheering up sad townsfolk. The boy couldn't believe the horrors that transpired before him. As Isaac continued to unleash his rage upon the defenseless creatures, Oliver snuck off, never to be seen again.
"Take...that..." Isaac gasped, performing one final curb stomp upon a now limb-less pig-like demon. The young boy had summoned these monsters from thin air. But how? Was this the Marker's doing? Was the child working for the Church of Unitology? It didn't matter now. Isaac looked around at the carnage. Yeah, he thought to himself, DEFINITELY not sleeping tonight. That's when he noticed the kid was gone.
...in a magical, far-away land, a young boy painted red with crimson stands next to a living tree. "Hello, child," the tree beckons, "enjoy some of my smiley-faced fruit." The boy takes the gift, biting into it with a malicious look on his face. Isaac Clarke will pay, the child thought to himself. Isaac Clarke will pay.
And the winner is... Isaac Clarke
Though this week's battle was a close call, the readers ultimately chose Isaac Clarke as the victor. Turns out a monster-summoning child doesn't have what it takes to best a monster-slaying engineer. Be sure to check back on Friday for this week's match-up, and let us know in the comments below how you think the fight between Isaac and Oliver would've gone down. And, in cased you missed the setup for this battle, we've included the details below!
Isaac Clarke vs. Oliver
In this week's battle to the death, an innocent child with the ability to summon cute, loyal monsters goes toe-to-toe with a bonkers engineer from the future. Good news, readers: You'll be the ones to decide who will live and who will die. Cast your vote by commenting who you think would win.
BUT! Before we can speculate as to who would come out on top, we must first examine the tools and tricks that each contestant has at his disposal. To do so, we scoured the web for any official information pertaining to the abilities and proficiencies of both parties.
Isaac Clarke (Dead Space)
Isaac has survived two large Necromorph outbreaks, and is pretty good at limb dismemberment as a result. Unfortunately, his close encounter with two Markers has kind of taken a toll on his mind. We've got to hand it to Isaac, though--the engineer-turned-savior has a knack for survival.
- Preferred weaponry: Plasma cutter, metal-clad boots, fists.
- Powers & abilities: Normal human man with amplified strength thanks to his engineering suits.
- Notable weaknesses: Deteriorating psyche.
- Greatest accomplishment: Encountered and destroyed two Markers, in addition to thousands of deadly Necromorphs.
Oliver (Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch)
Little Oliver is a young boy who has witnessed a great tragedy, ultimately allowing him to access a magical world where he battles and captures Pokemon-like familiars. He's a kind hearted child intent on aiding people when he is able, and is quite adept at casting magical spells.
- Preferred weaponry: Spell wand, book of spells, loyal familiars.
- Powers & abilities: Can cast spells or summon little monsters to fight for him.
- Notable weaknesses: Height disadvantage, not very strong.
- Greatest accomplishment: Aided a bunch of really sad people, made them happy again.
Now, armed with all the information the internet has to offer, you shall choose your victor--and on Tuesday we'll post a detailed play-by-play of how the fight will go down. (And don't forget to check out last week's battle!) Let's get started, shall we?
