Fast and Furious and Transformers
Suggested Title: The Fast and The Optimus: Cybertron Drift
Ghostbusters and Paranormal Activity
The Plot: In a neat way to introduce the all-new female Ghostbusters to an audience of an already-successful film series, this movie would see the return of Toby the demon, back to terrorise another family.
Only this time the family know exactly who they're gonna call.
Suggested Title: Paranormal Ecto-vity
The Hobbit and Mission: Impossible
The Plot: The quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain from Smaug the Dragon seems like much too tall an ask for a hobbit and a group of dwarves. Luckily, Gandalf has another trick up his billowy sleeve: it's time to call in Ethan Hunt and the Impossible Missions Force...
Suggested Title: The Hobbit: The Self-Destruction Of Smaug In Five Seconds
The Planet Of The Apes and Mad Max
The Plot: Who knew that both film series explored different areas of the same post-apocalyptic landscape?
This film starts off with this exact twist as the simian society finally catches up with road warrior Max and, in a nod to Mad Max 3 , he is forced to fight gorillas in a gladiatorial arena all under the orders of a villainous Koba, who happens to be wearing a Tina Turner fright wig.
Suggested Title: Beyond The Thunderdome Of The Planet Of The Apes
Magic Mike and G.I. Joe
The Plot: Dwayne Johnson's Roadblock is sent a mysterious message apparently revealing that Channing Tatum's Duke is still alive and in Florida working as a stripper.
Determined to get to the bottom of what is obviously a top-secret undercover mission, Roadblock tracks Duke down to discover that he faked his own death in order to pursue his dream of becoming a Chippendale. Then the rest of the Joes are forced to put on a one-night-only military-themed strip-show and they all have a great time.
Suggested Title: G.I. Joe: Rise Of The Trouser-Snake
Horrible Bosses and Clerks
The Plot: Clerks 3 will see Dante and Randall acting as terrible managers of the Quick Stop, so much so that, when employees Jay and Silent Bob bump into Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day, they become embroiled in a plot to kill them off. Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston strips down to her underwear because she can.
The plot is eventually foiled, Dante and Randall agree to tone down their Star Wars banter to make the working day more bearable, and everyone lives happily ever after. Then Jennifer Aniston strips down to her underwear again. Oh Jen - you're not even supposed to be here today!
Suggested Title: Horrible Clerks: I Assure You We're Open To The Idea Of Murder
Predator and The Expendables
The Plot: It's time these retro-action stars faced off against one of their own retro-action villains. Dropped into a mission deep within the jungle, the group of solidified testosterone come face to invisible face with the Predator, giving Arnie an opportunity to reference "the choppa" and the fact that "he's back" at least a dozen times.
As the Predator picks off the team one by one, we'll find out who in the Expendables has time to bleed and who doesn't really have much time for anything any more.
Suggested Title: The Expendables vs. Predator: Old Age Of Extinction
James Bond and Despicable Me
The Plot: Yes, Gru may have changed his ways but he still needs to atone for his previous criminal mastermind sins.
So MI5 dispatches 007 to infiltrate his life and bring him to justice. Along the way, he fights little yellow henchmen and somehow still manages to sleep around despite being in a PG-rated animation. The real test comes when he has to fight Gru's technological achievements using Q's own gadgetry.
Suggested Title: Minionraker
X-Men and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Plot: Two awesome ensemble teams of kick-ass heroes join forces when they discover that the evil Shredder and Magneto are working together to turn all of mankind into mutated Foot ninjas.
The plan is eventually stopped in its tracks when Magneto first places eyes on the turtles and realises that this 'mutant' thing has gone too far, retreating home to think about his life choices, hurting Toad's feelings in the process. The heroes celebrate with pizza. Wolverine says "Cowabunga" and immediately regrets it.
Suggested Title: Mutants Assemble: Days Of Turtle Power Past
The Muppets and Taken
The Plot: In typical meta fashion, the film starts with Liam Neeson's Bryan Mills watching the 1984 film The Muppets Take Manhattan . Incensed that an entire section of New York has been kidnapped, Mills uses his particular set of skills to track down the Muppets one by one, in a bid to get Manhattan back.
The film ends with Kermit providing Mills with a lengthy lesson on syntax and then we'll be back with a sequel in which Mills tries to determine exactly who is "Christmas Carol".
Suggested Title: The Muppets: Taken For A Ride
