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World of Nintendo

Retro consoles are fair game for modders to hack up and turn into other things, being dirt cheap and mostly obsolete. But take a look at number four down there. Someone has dismembered a Wii – the only console never to have had a price drop – and turned it into something you can get for a fiver on Ebay.

1) Homemade Master Sword

This hefty Master Sword replica was briefly listed on eBay before being pulled (why do they do that?). It’s nothing if not cosmopolitan – the wood in the handle is ‘borrowed’ from a golden apple tree, the pommel was formerly the axle from a dragster and the aluminium comes from an aeroplane, of all things. Of the many ways you could spend $1,800 (approx £1,200), this isn’t the worst, but it’s in the same ball park.

2) Rancid sweets

Check out these harbingers of mouthrot, obtained from the Nintendo World Store in New York. Take the Mario Kart candy, for example. The ingredients read: “98% Dextrose and Maltodextrin, 2% Magnesium Stearate, Flavourings and Malic Acid.” Sugar and chemicals, basically.

3) Crossing calendar

This official Animal Crossing calendar dispenses with useless real-world celebrations such as Ascension Day, Commonwealth Day and Grandma’s birthday, and replaces them with comprehensive up-to-date listings of the latest Bug-Off and Fishing tourneys. Handy.

4) When I’m 64

Why not whittle out the insides of a perfectly good Wii, cram in the organs of a previously dissected N64, carve a rudimentary cartridge slot into the side and sell it on eBay for less than the price of a brand new Wii? That was the runaway thought train of one industrious modder this month.

5) Box bag

Looking for something to pick up for your lady friend in the new year? Or maybe you want it for yourself, but that’s okay, because you’re trendy and meterosexual and stuff. Or maybe you are female – hey, stranger things have happened. Whatever the case, this felt shoulder bag will have passers-by headbutting your mid-region for weeks.

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