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Trailer Trash 12

Need a break from the lurid bursts of awesomeness screaming out of San Diego? Then we suggest having a look at some of this week’s worst trailers in another thrilling edition of Trailer Trash. No packed-to-the-gills special appearances by Hayao Miyazaki or spectacular Green Hornet reveals, just the most futile bits of video game video we could find, rounded out with sardonic commentary. Enjoy!


CSI: Deadly Intent


 


This is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth: sometimes big movie stars have to take crap TV roles to pay for their swanky lifestyles. And thanks to game tie-ins, Morpheus can now put gas in his Testarossa.


G-Force

 


This trailer fails at precisely the point where it stops mocking itself and begins selling itself as a viable entertainment option.


Cursed Mountain



The developers of Cursed Mountain have hit on a fantastic way to deal with the Wii’s puny processing power: just limit your color palette to 4 shades of gray and 3 of blue. While Cursed Mountain’s story certainly sounds interesting, this look at gameplay is less than inspiring.

Next page: more relief from Comic-Con overload!

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31 comments

  • Cyberninja - July 23, 2009 7:43 p.m.

    this is the first time you dont use a girl for tt why?
  • Cyberninja - July 23, 2009 7:49 p.m.

    no im being serious why did they use a guy i am not gay
  • Cyberninja - July 23, 2009 7:51 p.m.

    also why was there no tt last week
  • GlassPants - July 23, 2009 9:47 p.m.

    I'm pretty sure the narrator from ArchLord lied when she put "High British" as one of her dialects on her resume. But she might have drank some tranquilizer before the recording session.
  • Cyberninja - July 23, 2009 10 p.m.

    get blazblue cause its diffrent if you have any working sc
  • norid - July 23, 2009 10:08 p.m.

    @ cyberninja thx i was already leaning to it but since soul caliber was cheaper and i have come relia it i did not no. thx agian p.s did i spell relia right?
  • kubes - July 23, 2009 10:12 p.m.

    im glad its back i missed it last week
  • loonyman978 - July 23, 2009 10:19 p.m.

    The voiceover for the last one sounds like GLaDOS with a upgrade
  • clucky120 - July 23, 2009 10:38 p.m.

    okay diagnostics not looking so bad
  • IIIJabbaIII - July 24, 2009 12:42 a.m.

    So having a team of secret agent lambs is totally ridiculous and is an obvious fail, but secret agent guinea pigs is the best idea since slicing bread? ...idiots -_-
  • Mavarious - July 24, 2009 3:30 a.m.

    wow..... they spelled coming wrong at the end of the Archlord one.
  • darkfly23 - July 24, 2009 6:02 a.m.

    "When two mighty heroes clarshed in the harsh desart" Over emphasis of the syllable 'ar' must have been popular back then.
  • vigeoman - July 24, 2009 3:53 p.m.

    L force the L is for Lamb force
  • Bobbety - July 24, 2009 6:05 p.m.

    @Corsair89 So I'm not the only one who noticed that.
  • TheWebSwinger - July 24, 2009 6:37 p.m.

    Without Lizzie working on this, how will Cyberninja ever be able to fap to terrible game trailers? Good work, Joe.
  • Shane1403 - July 25, 2009 11 a.m.

    The voiceover in Archlord sounds like its a badly done mixture of a real person and a cg voice
  • azurechocobo - July 30, 2009 10:25 p.m.

    That Dragonica online "trailer" is hypnotizing. Must...stop...watching...
  • ChrisAntistaLikesLittleBoys - July 23, 2009 7:48 p.m.

    Lol. Wait a SECOND did cyberninja put a first in that comment? clever. clever.
  • zymn - July 23, 2009 7:52 p.m.

    wait... did G-Force just rip off Saturday Night Live?
  • afroninjakatana - July 23, 2009 8:11 p.m.

    These games look hilariously horrible. I mean WTF at the Dragonica online game. Like you guys said it's really creepy looking.

Showing 1-20 of 31 comments

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