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The Top 7... Worst Parts of Best Games

Nothing's perfect. Stare closely enough at anything - even a masterpiece - and you're bound to find flaws sooner or later. They might be small. They might be insignificant. They might not detract from the overall quality of the piece at all...

Except when they really, really do. With these seven games, in fact, you don't need to stare. Their flaws are so huge, so obvious, so frustrating and so effing obnoxious that you can't help but notice them, despise them and wonder how the damn things got included in the first place.

Do we usually end up loving these games anyway? Yes. Would we love them a lot more if they lanced these particular features like the foul, cancerous boils they truly are? Oh hell yes.

The best parts: Beloved Disney characters; beloved Final Fantasy characters; successfully merging the two; gorgeous animation; Hollywood-grade voice acting; genuinely heartfelt story.

The WORST part:          GUMMI SHIP 

This selection shouldn't stir up much controversy, as you probably saw it coming from the moment you read the headline.

Everyone hates the Gummi Ship. Everyone. People who try the games for a few hours hate the Gummi Ship. People who worship and adore the entire series hate the Gummi Ship. People who cosplay as Heartless and draw fan art of Sora kissing Riku (yes, they exist) hate the Gummi Ship. People who have never even played Kingdom Hearts hate the Gummi Ship.

Why? Because the Gummi Ship sections are as completely unnecessary as they are completely unavoidable. After just one taste of the mind-numbing and repetitive "Star Fox for Dummies" gameplay, you'll never want to see that blocky jalopy again... but you'll have to, because Kingdom Hearts forces you to travel by Gummi Ship dozens upon dozens of times. Sure, you can customize it, but that's about as appealing an opportunity as designing the stationary for your math homework. Besides, you usually just ended up with junk like this:


Ha. Ha.

Dishonorable mention: No matter how big a fan of Disney and The Little Mermaid you are, we dare you to make it through all five of Kingdom Heart II's Atlantica "musical challenges" without wanting to tear your own ear drums out. The video clip below might be enough to cause irreparable harm:



"Swim along, just join in the song...
A musical for everyone to have a lot of finny fun--" *GUNSHOT*

Topics

Top 7

101 comments

  • thehitcher03 - December 22, 2008 8:03 p.m.

    Yes, the blue shell really, REALLY sucks. Whenever I'm just about to win, BAM! Everyone overtakes me, I lose 100 points and have to come 1st in 4 more matches just to get them back. It. Sucks. So, I'm new, can I make one of these top 7 things?
  • Fr0-Ninja - January 29, 2009 1:13 a.m.

    I hate the freakin blue shells. im surprised they didn't put them in super smash bros. brawl and when you use them they automatically defeat the winner and removes all his lives.
  • theguru - January 29, 2009 8:33 p.m.

    I agree the blue shells in mario cart would be anoying, but there not the only game to have things like it. Jak X had a similar feature where rif you got a peacemaker round (or the more powerful dark-eco version) then you could hit who was in first place at the time it was fired (and every one in between with the dark-eco version). But it was atleast avoidable by ducking back into second, and fast!
  • gamefreakl1996 - March 2, 2009 1:32 a.m.

    every-thing in this article is DEAD ON, ecpeciailly the water temples and gummi ship, and plus Tingle IS an A-Hole and thos blue shell pics are awesome!
  • cped - March 17, 2009 12:04 a.m.

    bush was never a winner
  • jimsondanet - March 17, 2009 2:31 p.m.

    well actually it did anonymous, check your menu. i absolutely loved the gummi ships, seriously! i spent hours crafting the ultimate death machine. heres a tip with mass effects inventory screen. equip every character with the most advanced weaponry and armor. sell everything else. oh yes and... 1st!!!! jim 4 teh win idoits!!!
  • IronicBob - March 17, 2009 5:19 p.m.

    You're right about the flood. They just annoyed me. And they creeped out my little sister so she didn't want to play Co-Op any more. Bungie did the suspense on the first flood level though. Apparently Bungie were originally going to have Dinosaurs in Halo. Give me a big freaking T-Rex over little green glorified midges any day.
  • CoD_22 - March 17, 2009 7:54 p.m.

    how about tanks in cod5? great game, but tanks are so frikkin annoying so unfair
  • DirkBelig - March 17, 2009 9:29 p.m.

    As horrible as the Mass Effect inventory system was, what I never understood was what rocket scientist decided that as you selected different weapons and manufacturers, instead of seeing the new gun, you got to see the fraking CRATE the gun comes in! WTF is that about?!? I understand not having a bunch of unique weapon models, but not having the gun at all in favor of a generic box?!? Huh? What?!?!? Another contender for this list would've been the whole Xen section of Half-Life. That HL remains the greatest game ever despite the last 15% being "Super Mario Life" jumping puzzles on look-alike platforms that appeared textured with intestinal lining is a testament to its overall awesomeness.
  • Zaibalt - March 18, 2009 1:54 a.m.

    Although I've never played Halo 1, GTA IV or Dead Rising (I know it's sad) I agree with everything else. When I first played the ocarina of time I looked up the game guide for the water temple too. . . And you'd think they'd improve Gummi Ships in Kingdom Hearts 2 but nope all you do is shoot !@#$%ing sideways!
  • brummboy12 - March 22, 2009 3:55 p.m.

    Blue shells suck so much.. I don't see how water in Zelda is annoying. Unless its a water temple.. then it sucks
  • Pikachudude11 - March 24, 2009 7:56 a.m.

    The blue shell makes you go nuts and you can start coming second and it will still hit you and flood missions are the reason I dont play to get an achivment but to get a head ache.
  • stuzimuzipuzi - March 26, 2009 9:57 p.m.

    love the ending lol
  • whatsherface - March 29, 2009 8:21 p.m.

    Did you know....if you see a blue shell coming after you and you decide to try and avoid it by going in reverse and letting someone pass you(so they are in first instead of you), you still get hit by it. There is no way around it.
  • Dragonmaster146 - April 21, 2009 9:10 p.m.

    ya i agree with the flood i think i was about to chuck the conttoler at the tv the next time i saw one of the mineture mofos
  • TheMax - May 31, 2009 9:18 a.m.

    I played Mass effect for a good 50 hours and probably 2 hours of that was elevators and only 1/20 times do does your squad talk to each other. It's Painfully awkward.
  • bandietineendoos - July 29, 2009 2:14 a.m.

    I just created an account just so I can say this... I think I am the only person in the WORLD who LOVES the gummi ships in Kingdom Hearts. It seriously is almost my favorite part, besides whirlagoof.
  • doomdoomdoom - July 29, 2009 2:20 a.m.

    Blue Shells Only Nintendo can disappoint people
  • _D-Man_ - July 30, 2009 1:18 p.m.

    OH GOD CORTANA WAS A PAIN! I HATED THAT LEVEL SO BAD! Not even for the regular flood but for the ones that got up on the wall and were like F#^@!*% snipers. I hated socializing in GTA so I just stopped but now it's going to take me forever to get the GTA(5) Achievment. Whoopee. Water Temple sucked, the time limit on Dead Rising is a pain and the blue tortise shell.....*facepalm*
  • pokemonalliance - July 31, 2009 8:29 p.m.

    Never... Ever... Read this article when listening to Thriller. And I HATE the water part of Zelda. I still have the collector's edition of Ocarina of Time, from when I was about 5 years old (I'm 15 now) And I HATED the water temple. And the big fish belly dude. I had to use my friend's walkthrough booklet to figure out anything. And I can't count how many times I drifted down to the bottom, then got attacked immediately by those damn shells. And Dark-Link was a bitch to fight.

Showing 1-20 of 101 comments

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