Clair Obscur: Expedition 33's deeply frustrating minigames make harsh parries look like a breeze in contrast, and it's all Final Fantasy's fault

After roughly 50 hours in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, I can say without a shadow of a Nevron-blighted doubt that the minigames have given me the most grief by far. I'd sooner solo the Frost Eveque with neither Pictos nor lumina before I resign myself to the "normal" Sakapatate volley on that blasted Gestral Beach, swimsuit rewards be damned, and I'd take every missed parry with a smile.

But it seems that's kind of the point. Sandfall Interactive's ode to Persona 3 also pays homage to the JRPG canon itself, and you see that no clearer than in the optional minigames you encounter while exploring the overworld. From clunky platforming to messy depth perception, it's intentionally frustrating – which is why I both love and loathe the mini-games in Clair Obscur.

Sand in my eyes

The first time I visited a Gestral Beach, my first mistake was giving in to the illusion of joy and fun times ahead. Here on this little sandy slice of the daunting continent sat a host of quirky constructs, troll topknots all around, and I could only imagine what beach-frolicking relaxation they'd have in store for me.

Another hidden arena, I guessed, or perhaps a few more merchants to trade all this chroma I'd accumulated on my travels with? No to both, I soon discovered. Instead, I'd find hours of tooth-grinding agony at the hand of these little bastards, with nothing but a pithy swimsuit cosmetic for Maelle to show for it.

My first encounter with these Gestral-shaped minigames, each found on a smattering of beaches lining the overworld coast, was Gestral Volleyball. It sounded simple enough when the big Getral in charge explained it to me: use my basic attack power to deflect incoming kid projectiles – yes, these guys are firing their own children at me – back at my attacker to destroy their raft before they smash up mine.

Feeling all too sure of myself, I agreed to the challenge, and pit myself against the "regular" Sakapatate. As the on-screen timer ticked toward my doom, I noticed with a start that I had far fewer health bars on my raft than that of my opponent. "Wait!" I wanted to shout. "That's not fair!" But do Sakapatates care about fairness? No, they care about bloodshed. Or in this case, making Sciel explode into a drowned mess of timber.

I spent an unspeakable age mastering the easy level before claiming my striped, waterproof prize and finding something more enjoyable to do, like get bonked on the head by a Mime or pulling out my own fingernails for example. But it wasn't long until I discovered another ghastly Gestral torture chamber a few beaches over: a platforming trial.

If there's one thing you need to understand, it's that I detest platformers more than any other type of video game. I have zero depth perception and part of the reason I'd grown so fond of Clair Obscur was the distinct lack of platforming puzzles therein (bar the odd hop-skip-jump across some pillars to fetch an item for a non-hostile Nevron in a cave that one time). Alas, it took just one Gestral to quickly yank me down from cloud nine with a resounding thud – or in Maelle's case, a neat splash.

Traversing to the other side of the beach to speak with the other Gestral is nothing short of impossible in my case. I think I made it to the end of the first set of beams before Maelle forward-rolled into the sea one too many times for my rapidly dwindling patience to bear and I completely lost all interest. Look, I get it – this particular Gestral Beach minigame pays homage to Final Fantasy 14's own platforming oddities, and for that reason, I commend Sandfall for its evident love of the genre. But for someone like me, that's about as positive a comment I have to make about something this painful.

I've probably given myself hypertension from even trying to best Clair Obscur's trickiest side content, but ultimately, I'm glad the minigames exist. If not to make my side questing days easier, or necessarily more "fun", but to shout out all the genre-defining games that influenced the brilliant, beautiful beast that is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. Confronting the Paintress in a one-piece? That's just a bonus.

Check out the best JRPGs to play next, from Metaphor ReFantazio to Final Fantasy 14