The Professionals - Microwaves

Uncovering the lies and slander perpetuated by PC gaming

If you spent your childhood in fear, after your mother told you that looking at the food going around on the platform would make your eyes fall out, you’re not alone. John Bows, a Technology Development Manager, knows all about microwaves - about the “instantaneous disruption of the electrical signals in the brain, causing loss of gross motor function,” and the “inevitable long-term loss of brain function as well as changed behavior patterns.” And it turns out that your eyes do explode out of your face. This month, John rates microwaves from four games, and one obnoxious, unfunny viral from 1999...