Oblivion's horse armour DLC is STILL selling: Bethesda calls it "inexplicable", we call it basic human degradation

It's over. Humanity has screwed it up. We've gone too far and are henceforth running on the karma fumes of previous positive endevours as the plane goes down over the volcano of societal devolution. The scales are forever tipped against us. The sides of the pit are greased and ever-heightening. We, as a species, have f*cked it.

The reason? We are still buying the most useless, over-priced piece of DLC in video game history, a full half-decade after we all realised it was worthless upon its release.

The confirmation of humanity's slide into universal irrelevence comes from Bethesda Vice-President Pete Hines, via a statement in Official Xbox Magazine's latest podcast. Discussing whether Bethesda has found the "sweet spot" for DLC pricing, his verbal death-knell for our pathetic race sounded thusly:

"In one respect everything we've done has done well, including the much maligned horse armour.

"I swear to you I don't have the report in front of me, but multiple people bought horse armour yesterday! For some inexplicable reason. It happened, I promise"

You hear that? Inexplicable. Cannot be explained. Defying the laws of the universe. Like a cube with no sides which remains a cube nonetheless, or a beam of light that makes things darker. THAT is the level of screwed up we're messing with here. Stop buying horse armour, people. It's already too late for us to redress the balance of our transgressions, but we might as well go out with a bit of dignity.

Did you buy it? Are you in some way responsible for the end-times of our species? And if not, what is the worst DLC you've ever seen, or even bought?

March 17th, 2011




  • Brumbek - March 18, 2011 1:38 a.m.

    I've never bought a piece of DLC in my life, I'm not joking. What do I win!? However, I do purchase the "GOTY" or "Ultimate" editions frequently so I play the DLC much, much later. And go ahead and flame me, but the Horse Armor isn't bad when you get it for free basically with a $12.50 Steam Sale of Oblivion GOTY.
  • Tygerclaws - March 17, 2011 11:45 p.m.

    It' add...a more realistic touch..? I don't follow. Who cares if it's just fluff, in a game that is 90% fluff? I, for one, applaud them for the idea. How is horse armor less useful than a taxidermist? Or a house in a cave? A lot of peoples' travels are done on horseback, that I've seen, and I've known more than a few people who've become attached to their horses. It's wrong for them to want to give their horses that much more protection?
  • TheJackOfHearts - March 17, 2011 10:47 p.m.

    I bought all the Oblivion DLC on a disc for PC, so I got the horse armor that way.
  • super0sonic - March 17, 2011 10:08 p.m.

    I bought it. but in my defense I bought Oblivion on 360 and not PC because when i played morrowind i never played the story just mods. So i had to buy all the DLC
  • CandiedJester - March 17, 2011 8:34 p.m.

    @fffanatic1 agreed! I have so far been procrastinating on buying it purely because of the ridiculous price. The only thing I really want is the zombie map...but I am not paying like $15 for that alone. I think we should have just boycotted it personally, but no, people just like to throw their money away. They raise the price because they know people will buy it. And they DO. al rflai alhfs algrrrrrrrrrrrr
  • 510BrotherPanda - March 17, 2011 7:59 p.m.

    I like how the horses look disappointed with both each other, and their riders/owners. Glad I only play Nintendo, I guess...
  • cart00n - March 17, 2011 7:46 p.m.

    Actually, the horse armor is VERY useful - horses last MUCH longer when you put armor on them. Dunno why, they just do. Plus they just look cool. You can dress yourself, why not dress up your horse, too? The Elvish armor tends to blend in with the forest surroundings, making it easy to lose track of your horse, but the steel armor sticks out like a sore thumb, making it easy to find again in the wilderness. Except in snow, when it's a good time to switch back to the Elven. Oh, and mine was a gift, so I feel no guilt in defending it.
  • CharlieFockstrot - March 17, 2011 6:48 p.m.

    "I love horses, best of all the animals.....
  • Crabhand - March 17, 2011 5:59 p.m.

    I didn't buy the horse armor, mostly because I prefer to waste my money on good DLC. The worst DLC I've bought is probably the first map pack for Modern Warfare 2. Not necessarily because the maps were bad or overpriced, but because my friends were all playing less which inevitably led to me ending my time with the game as well. My main motivation for buying were the much maligned retreads, which I would have payed for separately and skipped the newer maps because I enjoyed the original Modern Warfare maps quite a bit. Other than that, maybe the Firepower Pack for Mass Effect 2, mostly because I don't really like the new weapons much (although the Mattock Heavy Rifle is pretty nice). The sniper and shotgun paled in comparison to the ones you get at the Collector ship.
  • soren7550 - March 17, 2011 5:39 p.m.

    I still don't get why people hate the horse armor so much.
  • grungekid18 - March 17, 2011 5:38 p.m.

    There's a mod for this, and while all it does is make your horse(s) "necessary" characters (unkillable), the armors look better than Bethesda's DLC version. The only DLC worth buying for Oblivion was The Shivering Isles expansion. That was excellent, and better than the core game imho.
  • GamesRadarButtercup - March 17, 2011 5:32 p.m.

    You non-horses wouldn't know a good DLC if it trampled over your weak human bodies.
  • Zeokroe - March 17, 2011 5:25 p.m.

    In my humble opinion, what's worse is Capcom charging $5 for extra characters in Marvel v. Capcom 3. $5! I could accept, say, $2, but $5? I feel that's overpriced for something that can REALLY add to a game; this is especially true when it comes to the fact that they had planned the dlc pre-launch! For me, horse armor is fine, I see no problem with it as long as it's priced accordingly, but $5 for new characters in a game based around having good characters? No thanks.
  • fetalspray - March 17, 2011 5 p.m.

    It'd be cruel not to buy the horse some armour what with it carrying you round all day it deserves a little treat in the form of protection from arrows. Am I lead to believe gamesradar supports (virtual) animal cruelty?.................. But yeah I didn't buy the armour but only because I hate animals so that makes it ok.
  • Cleanser247 - March 17, 2011 4:59 p.m.

    I absolutely love GameRadar US, and hell, the uk is "fine" too. But this is a pointless article David. I guess you aren't a big fan of The Elder Scrolls series, and I don't actually care if you are, but The Horse Armour DLC isn't that bad. I can think of DOZENS of shittier dlc prices, and I don' t know why you had to bring this up! People have already complained about how dumb the DLC was, so just leave it at that. The Horse Armour DLC probably isn't popular, because people couldn't afford the few bucks for it, never mind the rest of the great DLC Bethesda put out for Oblivion. I can totally understand your article if Oblivion was a terrible game, but it's one of the greatest role playing games out there! I'm not trying to sound mean, or try to put you down David, but why don't you write about Skyrim instead? I'd be much more happy reading about Bethesda's next Game of the Year, than read about an old shit topic from someone who hasn't gotten into the series. Oh, I have one more thing to say. I have bought all of Oblivion's DLC, and have completed everything 100%. So this isn't really apply to me….. but do NOT tell me, or anyone to not buy any kind of DLC. That's like me going and telling all the users of GamesRadar to not click on your articles, or comment. Would you like that? I don't think you would appreciate it at all. Va te faire foutre, trouduc!
  • ray4594 - March 17, 2011 4:47 p.m.

    horse armor>CoD DLC
  • rocketfuel - March 17, 2011 4:42 p.m.

    I was younger then, DLC was new to me. I had to buy it didn't I? DIDN'T I?
  • Robx - March 17, 2011 4:35 p.m.

    DLC I've hated the most is Saints Row's (The second one). the vehicles and outfits are insane (and the few missions are fun) but it blocked me from playing with my friends and a bunch of the world who cant or didnt buy it
  • alphaman - March 17, 2011 3:51 p.m.

    Litaljohn, with their skyrim contest they've already initiated the offer (too late to start now though)
  • RicePuddingUK - March 17, 2011 3:32 p.m.

    I don't buy any DLC, I only brought Mass Effect 2's DLC because Bioware put so much effort into ME2 that I felt they deserved the money, unlike Bungie and Treyarch, they're good games but so small and it's unbelievable that they can't add the two DLC pakcs they released in the retail edition.

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