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NBA Jam fulfills your dreams of playing basketball with George W. Bush. Also, some guy called Obama

The tradition of secret political ballers continues en masse

Words: on October 5, 2010
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You know how some jokes are conceptually great but just that bit too convoluted to make without having to kill them with explanation? There's a burning bush/"He's on fire!" gag here if I dig hard enough, but I'm afraid it just wouldn't survive the birthing process. Shame. I'd got quite attached to the idea of using it. Even though it would have been, in all actuality, very probably a bit crap.

Anyway, EA's new NBA Jam is continuing the series' tradition of including unlockable polititians as secret playable characters. And as I've got a good grasp of this whole journalistic news reporting thing, I'm going to tell you who they are. We'll be getting the current President of the USA, the previous one, and several other high profile political notables, by way of rival Democrat and Republican teams. The full line-up?

Democrats

Barack Obama

Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Al Gore

Joe Biden

Republicans

George W. Bush

Dick Cheney

John McCain

Sarah Palin

Also confirmed are the Beastie Boys and another, uber-top secret musical act. According to the game's Creative Director, Trey Smith, "the politician dunk faces are some of the best dunk faces in the entire game". Also, Sarah Palin has "a helicopter dunk that is just awesome". So, who are you going to unlock first? And who else you think would make a great secret baller?

Cheers, ESPN!

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iPad, Xbox 360, PS3, iPhone, Wii

15 comments

  • JADENkOTOR - October 6, 2010 7:12 p.m.

    Yeah you're right we don't have satellite photos of the ice caps disappearing at an extremely progressive rate. Obviously its not going to cause The Armageddon, but what it does cause is the changing of ocean currents and weather patterns. This may not be a big deal to you, but people in India and New Orleans would disagree. The warming oceans are already causing much stronger storm systems (that's why the are always afraid hurricanes are going strengthen when they hit the warmer, shallower water right before landfall) and is going to cause all kinds of problems with the ecosystem and fish populations. You don't have to believe it but it is a fact. Only if we could do little more about the overwhelming amount of carbon emissions that so many companies just don't give to shits about... Cheap energy = Huge profit

  • FauxFurry - October 6, 2010 1:31 a.m.

    Bayonetta plays basketball now? Is there anything that Umbra Magic can't do? Ah,this game provides an opportunity to realize two idle fantasies at once: To test Barry's skills against opponents who aren't impressed by his charisma,intellect or authority and to dunk on George Walker Bush's head so hard that it causes glass to rain down on him. reCAPTCHA suggests a name for such a manuver: the "evinisk clear-cut"!

  • ventanger - October 5, 2010 8:23 p.m.

    Obama isn't a muslim, but man-made global warming leading to worldwide catastrophe IS a myth. And GW is holding the turkey pardoned from thanksgiving.

  • revrock - October 5, 2010 8:12 p.m.

    How 'bout we try to guess what G.W. is holding in that picture? I say it is a toupee for Dick Cheney.

  • JADENkOTOR - October 5, 2010 6:08 p.m.

    Yeah cause global warming is a myth and Obama is a muslim... Glen Beck told me that. Speaking of they should have done the Fox News guys (Bill O'reiley, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, and That Blonde Dike) and the MSNBC/Comedy Central crew (Chris Matthews, Kieth Olberman, John Stewart, and Stephen Colbert). This would be an all time epic match up even though Becks cheap ass would summon Jesus to blow out the other team. Go Hardballers!!!

  • revrock - October 5, 2010 5:51 p.m.

    I will avoid Algore as I wish to avoid seeing him attempt to "release his chakra" on my big screen TV... He is a freak. Since we have a mix of former and current politicians, why not a Arnold Schwarzenegger/ Jesse Ventura team?

  • mattchew86 - October 5, 2010 5:39 p.m.

    @ventanger ROFLMAO xDDDD

  • ventanger - October 5, 2010 5:30 p.m.

    Al Gore takes all the other teams points claiming it's necessary to save the planet from being flooded by plant food in three months.

  • mattchew86 - October 5, 2010 3:14 p.m.

    I wonder if you play as obama if you'll have the ability to steal points off of the other team, or blind them with his teleprompter?

  • StrayGator - October 5, 2010 3:12 p.m.

    I want Jim Sterling to be there so much.

  • db1331 - October 5, 2010 3:04 p.m.

    I bet when you play as Obama you talk about all the points you are going to score in a pregame interview, but then once the game starts you just ride the bench the whole time.

  • KidKatana - October 5, 2010 3:03 p.m.

    @ Samueltehg33k - I'm afraid my money's on the Democrats. The Republicans have John McCain on their team and he can't lift his arms above his shoulders, so he's probably as good at basketball as he is at selecting credible running mates.

  • Samueltehg33k - October 5, 2010 2:47 p.m.

    Ready to get you liberal asses kicked so hard you'll need to bail out?\

  • KnightDehumidifier - October 5, 2010 2:46 p.m.

    Ron Paul was supposed to play, but he ended up just taking the ball and whipping at the audience, proclaiming it's a brand new sport that will take America by storm. Mr. Paul was then told to leave the court.

  • ShaneCedt - October 5, 2010 2:41 p.m.

    Great pics, especially that Hillary one.

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