Grand Theft Radar: 8 new crimes that'll be blamed on GTA IV

How will the media get it wrong this time? We've got a few educated guesses...


Above: We didn't actually have an image of a car being hotboxed, so the amount of smoke here may be somewhat exaggerated

One of GTA IV's more endearing characters is thick-accented Rastafarian arms dealer Little Jacob, and one of his more endearing habits is getting really, really high. In your car. While demanding you keep the windows rolled up. Break out a window or open the car door once he gets started, and smoke comes billowing out in a thick cloud. Unsurprisingly, this sort of thing is generally frowned on by cops - just ask Method Man.

Stealing Telephone Lines


Above: Meh, telephone pole, truck, whatever...

So far as we know, you can't actually steal any of the myriad cables that criss-cross the skyline of Liberty City. You can climb telephone poles, however, and given recent stories about idiot meth freaks trying to make off with big, obvious power lines, we figure it's only a matter of time before something like this happens:

Breaking and Entering

Among the raft of improvements that GTA IV brings to the table is a bunch of seamless interiors, which Niko can wander into off the street with little to no resistance; much like with their cars, the citizens of Liberty don't always bother to lock their front doors. And if Niko can do it, that means kids will do it, right? Better buy an extra deadbolt now to protect yourself from the coming rash of vaguely disinterested teens wandering silently into your home to have a look around like it's effing normal.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.
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