If you don't count the ESRB card and producer credits, the teaser for tomorrow's Bulletstorm demo manages to go ten seconds before someone says “shit.” If that seems like a blue-balled eternity, rest assured that once those ten agonizing seconds of pretending like anyone cares about Bulletstorm's storyline are over, it's “motherfucker” this and “butthole-clenching” that and explosions and gibs till the cows come home (at which point, the cows get blown up in a manner that’s as inventive as it is sadistic).
Above: Apparently the game features more skillshots than you can count. Two googol, then
Above: Dune buggies, the most dangerous prey of all time
Above: A new Bulletstorm trailer to whet your appetite for the incoming demo, which will be avialable on PSN and Xbox LIVE on January 25
It's hard to count how many unfortunate souls are sent to their maker in the trailer's scant 90 seconds of ridiculously overblown violence. However, if we were to measure this trailer against the gold standard of the “big men, violently killed for your amusement” genre – '80s action movies – it's likely that it would weigh in somewhere between the theatrical release of Commando and the Director's Cut of RoboCop. Given that you're invited to catch your breath by watching a dude being shot in the dick, that's pretty effin' impressive.
Will you be trying out Bulletstorm? How many gruesomely impressive atrocities do you intend to enact? Let us know while you wait for the demo to go live.
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