What if... Video game characters had interns

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Day five: Politics 101 with Rico Rodriguez 


"No writing either!"

"Okay." I went to write that down, but then didn't.

"So you're currently in the process of destabilising this island, Rico?" I asked.


"That's right! I am destabilising it on behalf of the CIA for reasons that I can barely remember or understand."

"And you're doing that how? Funding underground freedom fighter cells? Supplying guns to antagonistic external factions? Blockades? Trade sanctions? Misinformation?"

"EXPLOSIONS," said Rico, failing to hide an obvious and sudden erection. "ONLY EXPLOSIONS."

"Explosions," I said, trying not to look. "Just.. anywhere?"

"Fuck yeah," he said, grinning widely. "All explosions. All the time. Nothing is more unstable than an explosion."

"Oh, so it's philosophical, then? Like a Zen koan?"

"If that helps you, kid, sure. Now fire this rocket launcher into that built-up area beneath us for MAD POINTS."

Grant Howitt
Grant Howitt
I'm a writer; I mainly write about games, which is why I'm here. Sometimes I write about wizards, too, but you're probably not so interested in that.