The force is not so strong in this one...
The Force Awakens isn't even here yet and it's already spawned loads of fan takes and merchandise. The original films were no different, but back then things were a little less... polished. Well, that's the polite way of putting it. Weve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and weve seen a lot of strange stuff, here's the 'best' of it.
Ever wondered what everyones favourite astromech droid was really saying beneath that endless parade of bleeps, squawks and burbles? Now it can be revealed. Crazy fool! goes the rough translation. I aint gettin on no spaceship! This bling-tastic, A-Team styled Artoo based on a gag from Family Guys spoof trilogy is on display at Steve Sansweets legendary merch shrine Rancho Obi-Wan. Quit yo jibber-jabber, Jabba!
Star Wars stew
Even Darth Vader put his Force-throttling ways on hold to join the Empire Strikes Back cast on deathlessly wholesome kids show Blue Peter in 1980. Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher gamely noshed on specially prepared Star Wars Stew sausage, baked beans, chopped tomatoes and Jawa eyeballs. Yum. Alas Harrison Ford wasnt there to do his legendary grump-scowl as he spooned down the chow
Hungarian Star Wars posters
Imagine the contents of George Lucass head exploding on mescaline and youre still not even close to the phantasmagorical weirdness of these Hungarian Star Wars posters. Like visions glimpsed in a fever dream of a half-remembered movie, they seem to be ripped straight from the unconscious of a maniac. The Death Star in Darth Vaders eye socket on the Jedi one is design genius, mind.
Turkish Star Wars
Defying the pesky laws of copyright like the Rebel fleet evading a flotilla of Star Destroyers, 1982s Dnyay Kurtaran Adam aka The Man Who Saved The World is a Turkish sci-fi movie that splices micro-budget heroics with NASA rocket launch footage and, rather boldly, stolen chunks of Star Wars itself, tinted a sickly hue in a bid to hide the crime. Still, more faithful than the Special Editions
Blame it on the Wookie
Beamed from a boogiefied parallel universe where the Empire unleashed the might of the Death Glitterball, this addled dance routine sees troupes of Vaders and flying Threepios engaged in synchronised frugging to a funked-up version of the Star Wars theme. Rumoured to hail from a 70s French variety show but, unsurprisingly, no ones taken credit. Behold the madness below...
Alan Moore does Star Wars
Future comics magus Alan Moore entered a galaxy far, far away in the early 80s. Tilotny Throws A Shape, a strip for Britains The Empire Strikes Back Monthly, made the jump to headspace rather than hyperspace, marooning Princess Leia on a world where pan-conceptual entities cry Ive invented form! Ive invented mass! Oh, cleverest Tilotny! Everything has edges! Goddam bloody hippies.
The power of the Force Beam
It takes a certain deranged bravery to pimp your copyright-busting lightsaber knock-off in the Lucas-approved pages of Star Wars Weekly itself. Wed award them a Rebel medal for sheer chutzpah were it not for the fact that one of the ads may, just may, be the worst picture in the history of the world. Unless its by a chimpanzee, in which case its ruddy brilliant.