Ultimate Ghosts 'n Goblins hands-on

Aside from monsters, each level is packed with complicated hazards that take precise timing (and a lot of practice) to get past. Just a few levels in, we've already dealt with leaping between platforms over a rising-and-falling sea of toxic slime, floating through a bottomless-pit cathedral on a magic carpet-like sheet of ectoplasm and hopping between giant fleshy polyps that instantly collapse into beds of spikes when we land on them.

Oh, and the game loves to trick us, too, decorating the bottoms of blind jumps with magical cauldrons that temporarily turn us into old women, skeletons, chickens, bugs and tiny and huge versions of Arthur, all of which are completely useless (but still funny).

After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.