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"JESUS PLEASE KICK ME IN THE FACE LIKE THAT" – The Walking Dead season 9 is here and everyone’s obsessed with Jesus

Jesus in The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead season 9 premiere was quite a rollercoaster ride but, this being the internet, no one was really all that bothered with big deaths, Maggie’s changing mood, and even a marriage proposal. No, everyone just loves that boy Jesus. From his fresh new ‘do to his can-do attitude regarding kicking the Walkers into next week, he was all anybody could talk about.

Ain't that a kick in the head

The Walkers aren’t a threat anymore. Case in point? Jesus is out here unleashing his inner Shawn Michaels and dialing up a bit of Sweet Chin Music on any undead within three feet of him. It’s stupid but, bloody hell, I love it.

Maybe he's born with it...

Jesus may not be troubling Maggie or Rick (yet), but it’s clear to see that everyone wants him to have a bigger role. And it’s all because of the hair. Even during a sad funeral scene, The Walking Dead fans couldn’t help but notice what a *consults Tumblr* snack he was. It’s nice to know that when things go to shit, you can still maintain your style.

You can always count on Jesus

Even when Jesus wasn’t there, the characters were doing their level best to Poochie it up by referring to things Jesus had been doing. It turns out, he counted the votes that led to Maggie becoming leader of the Hilltop over Gregory. As you can imagine, the weaselly ex-leader didn’t take too kindly to that…

Love is in the air?

Everyone couldn’t help notice that, in the limited screen time that wasn’t dominated by Jesus kicking things, Jesus’ hair, people talking about Jesus, and everyone at home thinking about those things instead of watching, that love might be on the cards for Jesus and Aaron. D’aww.

But where was Jesus during the museum trip?

He was there. Then he wasn’t. At least we now have the answer to WWJD if he had to carry a giant wagon down some stairs. He wouldn’t.

It's not all sunshine and hair care products. We're fairly sure Maggie is becoming The Walking Dead season 9's next big villain.

GamesRadar+'s Entertainment Writer. Lover of all things Nintendo, in a tortured love/hate relationship with Crystal Palace, and also possesses an unhealthy knowledge of The Simpsons (which is of no use at parties).