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Fatherland
Christoph Waltz would make an excellent March (giving him the chance to turn his Inglourious Basterds persona on its head) whilst Rachel McAdams could play the intrepid McGuire. Make it happen Hollywood!
Sample Dialogue: “Xavier March, homicide investigator with the Berlin Kriminalpolizei - the Kripo - climbed out of his Volkswagen and tilted his face to the rain. He was a connoisseur of this particular rain.
He knew the taste of it, the smell of it. It was Baltic rain from the north, cold and seascented, tangy with salt. For an instant he was back twenty years, in the conning tower of a U-boat, slipping out of Wilhelmshaven, lights doused, into the darkness.”
Devil May Care
The Book: Acclaimed author Sebastian Faulks takes up the baton from the late Ian Fleming to deliver a new James Bond adventure, with all the classic noir trappings of his predecessor.
This sixties-set romp follows Bond on an adventure from Paris to the Middle East as he hunts down a vicious drug baron with terrorist pretensions. You know the sort.
The Movie: Obviously the novel’s ‘60s setting wouldn’t fit with the Daniel Craig timeline, although there’s no reason why the story couldn’t be tweaked slightly to bring it up to date.
However, we think MGM should hold this one back for when the time comes to reboot the franchise once more. We’d love to see a period Bond film once Craig hangs up the bow tie…
Sample Dialogue: “It took Bond almost ten minutes to get the “Locomotive”, the Bentley Continental he’d had rebuilt to his own specification, as far as Sloane Square. London seemed to have gone slightly off its head in the time he’d been away.
Every zebra crossing on the King’s Road was packed with long-haired young people, ambling across, standing and talking or, in one remarkable case, sitting cross-legged in the road.
With the convertible hood down, Bond could smell the bonfire whiff of marijuana he’d previously associated only with souks in the grubbier Moroccan towns. He blipped the throttle and heard the rumble of the twin two-inch exhausts.”
The Game
The Book: Rolling Stone journo Neil Strauss’s dating memoir / how-to-guide makes for a surprisingly compelling read, as the writer documents his journey from painfully shy wallflower to vaguely sinister pick-up artist.
Stuffed with a surfeit of bewildering terminology (do you know how to perform a “neg”? Can you identify an “amog”?) and responsible for arming hordes of sweaty-palmed misogynists with the tools to ambush an unsuspecting female populace, it is nonetheless a fascinating story!
The Movie: This one has been in development hell for a while now, with Chris Weitz initially signing on to direct for Columbia before the project fell through.
The story remains ripe for re-telling however, and preferably played for laughs, because some of these characters really need to be pointed and laughed at.
It seems like an Apatow production to us, perhaps with Jason Lee drafted in to play Strauss, and the usual suspects (Seth Rogan, Jason Segel, Jonah Hill et al) playing the gallery of grotesques he begins to associate with.
Sample Dialogue: “ ‘But remember,” Mystery said sternly. ‘You are no longer Neil Strauss. When I see you in there I want you to be someone else. You need a seduction name.’
He paused and reflected: ‘Styles?’ ‘How about Style?’ That was the one thing I prided myself on: I may never have been socially comfortable, but at least I knew how to dress better than those who were. ‘Style it is. Mystery and Style.’”
The Secret History
The Book: Donna Tartt’s bestselling debut novel infiltrates a close-knit group of friends at an elite Vermont college, bound together by privilege, a love of Classics and the eventual murder of one of their number.
A cracking mystery, with more than a hint of Greek Tragedy about it, brought to life by a cast of glamorous, narcissistic young characters.
The Movie: A college-set murder mystery with brains, there are obvious comparisons to be drawn with Bret Easton Ellis’s The Rules Of Attraction (indeed the two authors frequently reference each other’s work), and as with that film, a cast of fresh-faced but credible actors would be required.
Andrew Garfield would be our first choice for narrator Richard Papen with Nicholas Hoult co-starring as bon viveur-in-training Bunny Corcoran.
Sample Dialogue: “Bunny had an uncanny ability to ferret out topics of conversation that made his listener uneasy and to dwell upon them with ferocity once he had.
In all the months I’d known him he’d never ceased to tease me, for instance, about that jacket I’d worn to lunch with him that first day, and about what he saw as my flimsy and tasteless Californian style of dress.
To an impartial eye, my clothes were in fact not at all dissimilar from his own but his snide remarks upon the subject were so inexhaustible and tireless, I think, because in spite of my good-natured laughter he must have been dimly aware that he was touching a nerve.”
The Little Friend
The Book: Donna Tartt’s follow-up to The Secret History (and sadly, her only other novel to date) is a Southern Gothic mystery following precocious schoolgirl Harriet as she digs at the unexplained death of her brother Robin, who died by hanging some years earlier.
As Harriet pursues with her quest, she collides with the adult world in a thrilling, often terrifying fashion.
The Movie: Harriet is a thrusting protagonist in the vein of True Grit ’s Mattie Ross (although Harriet is both younger and less preternaturally savvy), and thus would require a newcomer of similar talent to Haillee Steinfeld to do her justice.
Come to think of it the Coen brothers would have a ball with this one, with its colourful Southern characters and off-beam humour, not to mention the mysterious death at the heart of the matter.
Sample Dialogue: “I realized that the childish impression I had always had of my father, as Just Lawgiver, was entirely wrong. We were utterly dependent on this man, who was not only deluded and ignorant, but incompetent in every way.
What was more, I knew that my mother was incapable of standing up to him. It was like walking into the cockpit of an airplane and finding the pilot and co-pilot passed out drunk in their seats.”
Her Fearful Symmetry
The Book: Audrey Niffenegger (author of The Time Traveller’s Wife ) dips into the realms of fantasy once more to present this ghostly tale in which a pair of beautiful twins arrive to stay in the house haunted by their recently deceased aunt Elspeth.
As one of the pair becomes gradually drawn to Elspeth’s bereaved lover, the spirit’s presence becomes known, things get complicated, and a series of shocking revelations turn matters conclusively on their head…
The Movie: Given that one of the main protagonists is a ghost, this would be a real challenge to adapt, although given the box-office success of The Time Traveller’s wife, somebody will probably have a go.
Perhaps the best way would be to present Elspeth as a narrative voiceover rather than a tangible spook?
Casting the twins shouldn’t be such a problem with the use of The Social Network ’s CGI trickery, and we’d like to see Jennifer Lawrence given the dual-role.
Sample Dialogue: "Listen, sometimes when you finally find out, you realize that you were much better off not knowing..."
For Richer For Poorer
The Book: Part-time journalist / part-time poker player Victoria Coren’s memoir is a thoroughly compelling tale, interweaving her unusual career move (in general, most top-level poker players aren’t middle-class British women!) with a blow-by-blow account of her triumph at the 2006 London EPT at which she won a quarter of a million dollars.
Funny, moving and gripping…what more can you ask for?
The Movie: It might not seem the most likely of adaptations, but there’s a natural narrative arc to Coren’s story, with plenty of heartbreak present along the way to counterbalance the inevitable crowd-pleasing finale. In terms of casting, Kate Winslet would be a good pick, mirroring Coren’s quick wit and eye-catching looks.
Sample Dialogue: Today, I might win a quarter of a million dollars. There are only eleven opponents to beat. Unfortunately, they are the eleven toughest poker players in the world.
According to the title of this televised battle, we are The Premier League. Phil ‘The Brat’ Hellmuth is playing: he’s won eleven world titles. Dave ‘Devilsh’ Ulliott is there: the most feared and celebrated player in Britain. Marcel Lüske, ‘The Flying Dutchman’, is in the line-up: he’s such a big star now, he is releasing albums of himself singing poker songs.
Between them, my opponents have won fty million dollars playing cards. So I’m a little nervous.”
The Catcher In The Rye
The Book: The late JD Salinger’s tale of adolescent angst and teenage rebellion is widely regarded as a modern classic, with protagonist Holden Caulfield taking his place as one of the most iconic characters of 20th Century literature.
It’s a coming-of-age tale in which Caulfield struggles to find his place in a world that to his eyes, is full of hypocrisy and phonies. We’ve all been there…
The Movie: Salinger was long resistant to selling the rights to his most famous novel, although he had expressed an openness to the idea of something being made after his death.
David Fincher’s work on The Social Network has got us convinced he could provide the framework for Salinger’s crackling dialogue, whilst the role of Caulfield should probably go to a newcomer. What a career-maker that would be…
Sample Dialogue: “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two haemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them.”
Transmetropolitan
The Book: Warren Ellis’ cyberpunk series charts the adventures of renegade journalist Spider Jerusalem, who spends his days fighting corruption in a dystopian vision of the United States. Who’s to blame? A succession of corrupt Presidents, that’s who…
The Movie: The quirky humour and political satire of Transmetropolitan would make for a refreshing change from the usual crash-bang-wallop comic-book movies.
Robert Carlyle would make a brilliant Spider, and his attempts to bring down corrupt presidential candidate Gary Callahan, aka The Smiler, would be a good story arc to adapt. As for the Smiler, we’ll have Aaron Eckhart turning his white knight routine from Batman on its head.
Sample Dialogue: “Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.”
Red Dog, Red Dog
The Book: The debut novel from Canadian author Patrick Lane, Red Dog, Red Dog tells the story of two brothers in ‘50s British Columbia, and the violence that has marked their troubled domestic life.
When a family party goes hideously wrong, a spiral of chaotic events are set in motion, pushing both men to the brink.
The Movie: The novel is played out against a foreboding rural landscape that is already deeply cinematic in feel, whilst the violent, tragic story seems a good fit for John Hillcoat, director of similarly stark films like The Road and The Proposition .
As for the cast, Jeremy Renner and Josh Brolin would make for a compelling big-screen double-act.
Sample Dialogue: “Sergeant Stanley arrested Eddy, Harry having slipped away into the crowd. Richard Smythe, the town’s judge, sent him down to Boyco, the boy’s correctional school in Vancouver, despite Eddy being a year too young. Stanley wanted to teach Eddy a lesson.
So did Father. Eddy never forgot Sergeant Stanley arresting him or the year that followed in that prison. There was something dead in Eddy’s head when he came back from the coast.
The boy he’d been was no longer there, and in his place was someone gone past feeling, who thought nothing of pain, his own or anyone else’s. Even Father stepped sideways when Eddy walked behind him.”
