Not the sharpest tools in the shed
In cinemas vast back catalogue of memorable characters lies a category that separates the wheat from the chaff. For every confident swaggerer (think John Waynes entire resume) theres a dim-witted fool (think Ruprecht). Sure, these oddballs might not possess the charisma or wit of the self-assured movie character, but their skill for dumbing down our cinemagoing experience provides us with laughs, why-I-oughta fist raises and all elements of the fully-rounded human condition.
Brought to life on the big screen, the trials and tribulations of these stupendous morons have taught audiences many life lessons. But we wont spoil all that for you here. Read on for our rundown of cinemas biggest imbeciles.
Louis Tully (Ghostbusters)
The Character: The epitome of an annoying neighbour, attorney Louis Tully (Rick Moranis) repeatedly attempts to woo Dana Barrett by showcasing his flair for locking himself out of his apartment and foolishly getting transformed into a demonic dog.
Dumbest Moment: Representing the Ghostbusters in court during the sequel he describes his prior ordeal (itself a result of his idiocy) to the judge without an ounce of sarcasm.
Best Quote: Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
Ishmael (Kingpin)
The Character:Ishmael (Randy Quaid) the Amish bowler has lived a rather sheltered existence, which perhaps explains why hes so gullible during a cross-country road trip.
Dumbest Moment: Having a chat with his buddy Roy while the pair are in the john, its only when the camera pulls back we see him going for a number two. While sat on a urinal.
Best Quote: Look out everybody! Theres a shit cloud coming!
Biff Tannen (Back To The Future series)
The Character: A buzzcut bully, Biffs overly-confident nature emphasises how dumb he actually is. His supposed smarts only serve to point out his shortcomings. Mixing metaphors therefore rendering them pointless, pestering girls to get them to go out with him and the haircut? Dont get us started...
Dumbest Moment: Desperate to beat Marty at many stages throughout history, Biff has a tendency towards poor driving - and ends up crashing into a manure truck. Twice.
Best Quote: Why dont you make like a tree... and get outta here.
Louis Creed (Pet Sematary)
The Character: Belonging in his own sub-category of stupidity entirely, Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) fails to realise that dabbling with an ancient Indian burial ground probably isnt the best thing for his family...
Dumbest Moment: After burying his daughters cat and his own son in the Micmac grounds, they both return from the grave as evil copies of their former selves. So obviously it makes sense to pop off with a shovel to bury his recently-deceased wife into the same plot of land.
Best Quote: I waited too long with Gage. But with Rachel... it will work this time! Because she just died, she just died a little while ago!
Otto (A Fish Called Wanda)
The Character: A chap with a staggering inferiority complex, poor Otto (Kevin Kline)s dim-wittedness cannot be ignored due to his constant idiotic rants that he tries to pass off as genius. Even his own girlfriend thinks hes dumb.
Dumbest Moment: Making a song and dance out of foreplay, Otto strips and sniffs his armpits before he serenades Wanda(Jamie Lee Curtis) with the traditional Italian song Volare.
Best Quote: Dont call me stupid!
Carl Spackler (Caddyshack)
The Character: Summing up groundskeeper Carls staggering ineptitude is easily accomplished when contemplating one simple fact; throughout the entire movie he is outwitted by a rodent.
Dumbest Moment: Taking to the rows of pristine flowerbeds - which he planted - with a golf club and beheading them.
Best Quote: My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.
Harry and Marv (Home Alone)
The Character: The Wet Bandits are a pair of low-life burglars who are easily foiled by an eight-year old boy. Repeatedly.
Dumbest Moment: Falling prey to Kevin McAllisters bespoke security systems of sharp Christmas ornaments, glue, burning hot door handles, etc. the pair really take the biscuit when they decide repeatedly to leave the taps running at every house they burgle.
Best Quote: Harry: Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
Navin Johnson (The Jerk)
The Character: Adopted by an African American family as a child, Navin (Steve Martin) doesnt realise this until way into his forties. "The Jerk" is a simple, hapless man with the innocent, free-spirited charms of the utterly clueless.
Dumbest Moment: When his realisation prompts a journey of self-discovery, this leads him to uncover one of his greatest successes in life: finding his name in the phone book!
Best Quote: It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.
Brennan and Dale (Stepbrothers)
The Character: A pair of stroppy adult stepbrothers, Brennan (Will Ferrell) and Dale (John C. Reilly) are the definition of spoiled brats. Sheltered by their parents, their teenager antics serve to highlight their complete dunderheaded natures.
Dumbest Moment: The night before their first real job interviews, the pair unite to make bunk beds. Their plan fails disastrously as the top cot careens to the floor, squashing Brennan.
Best Quote: Last week, we put Liquid Paper on a bee and it died.
