See the first death from the new Friday The 13th!

1. If you see this sign, run in the opposite direction. Seriously. Whatever you do, don’t go and poke around the cabins inside…

2. Great, you’ve ignored us. And now you’ve whipped your torch around one of the cabins and found Jason’s Vorhees’ bed. Brilliant. At least have the common decency to look scared...

3. Thank you. Finally, you’re listening to us. Okay, we think we just saw a shadow move under the door to your left. So, whatever you do, don’t go and have a look. We know that shadows are fascinating but...

4. Brilliant, you’re back to ignoring us. Still, nice arse.

5. See, now look what you’ve done! That’s a machete that’s just appeared out of the ground for no apparent reason! We don’t know what made the shadow outside if Jason’s under the floorboards (could’ve been a stoat or something. we suppose), but forget that! You’ve got a machete waving in your face!

6. And look, now she’s all upset! Oh, this really is first rate.

7. Great, now Jason’s hacked a hole in the floor to pull you under and we wouldn’t be surprised if…

8. Yep, now he’s hacked a hole in you too. Next time, listen. Hey, I wonder what the remake hockey mask looks like…

9. Like the old one, then. If you see a man in a boiler-suit wearing one of these coming towards you, run in the opposite direction. Seriously. Whatever you do, don’t carry on shagging in front of him...