Poetry exclusive! Two incredible Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim poems for the price of one

If you take an interest in games and poetry then you will undoubtedly have been thrilled by the news about therecently translated Elder Scrolls V runes. They appeared on the back of thelatest issue of Game Informerand, once deciphered, turned out to be a poem.

Above: Unless you read dragon speak, these runes mean nothing

This is the poem:

Dragonborn Dragonborn
By his honor is sworn
To keep evil forever at bay
And the fiercest foes rout
When they hear triumph's shout
Dragonborn for hunger blessing we pray

And the scrolls have foretold
Of black wings in the cold
That when brothers wage war come unfurled
Alduin, bane of kings
Ancient shadow unbound
With a hunger to swallow the world

Apparently the poem reveals the first clues about the Skyrim's storyline. I'm not sure about that (it makes bugger all sense to me) but it does remind me of Ted Hughes' novel, The Iron Man, in which a dragon comes down from space, sits on Australia and threatens to destroy the world.

Anyway, inspired by the mythical rhythmical composition, I thought I'd have a crack at penning my own Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim poem. This is it:

Skyrim Skyrim Skyrim
Nordic beards are full of win
So expect follicle customisation
And improved engine this way cometh
Means animations not so rubbish
Like Skooma addicts in rehabilitation

The long awaited return to Tamriel
A shit load of copies its sure to sell
With expansion packs to follow behind
But better than Oblivion, can Bethesda do it?
Fuck it, stick in some dragons and book Patrick Stewart
(And a bit of free horse armour would be kind)

Do you think Bethesda are getting bored of horse armour jokes yet? Yes. They probably are.

Can you do better? Feel free to share your own Elder Scrolls poetry in the comments. You get extra points if you manage to include the words 'over encumbered'.

Jan 7, 2011

Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.