The BioWare merch store has released a Liara body pillow, and it seems we've fully crossed the line from novelty merchandise to earnest attempts to capitalize on how thirsty Mass Effect fans are for their digital crushes.
The Mass Effect body pillow saga starts with a 2014 April Fools Day gag, in which BioWare joked that a full-sized Garrus pillow was available for purchase. This pillow was meant to be in the style of a dakimakura pillow, which is stereotypically decorated with an amorous anime fan's waifu or husbando of choice.
The joke, of course, is that Garrus is a gangly alien who would probably be pretty uncomfortable to cuddle with. Yet Mass Effect fans also love Garrus, and the joke became a real piece of merchandise in 2019 - albeit, as a body pillow case rather than an actual pillow. Either way, the merch proved so popular that BioWare invested in a second wave, and you can still pick up the Garrus pillow case for a semi-reasonable $35.
Mass Effect has a lot of romance options, so the body pillows continued, with at least some semblance of a joke attached. There was Tali, doomed to never cuddle in human conditions due to her environmental suit. There was Thane, whose drell body is covered in a minor venom that you probably don't want to be in prolonged contact with.
Your loving companion Liara welcomes you into the most blissful slumber.👀👀👀Get the Liara full body pillowcase here: https://t.co/af4AiJRsRu pic.twitter.com/1fyPmP9yurSeptember 28, 2022
Now, we have a body pillow case for Liara, who… well, she's just a hot blue lady. There's no joke here. Just $35 USD on the BioWare Gear store to cuddle up with a suggestively-posed image of your favorite Mass Effect character.
I've got no real moral judgments to make here - if Liara's bedroom eyes help you, uh, sleep at night, more power to you. It's just incredible that in the span of a few years, we've gone from jokes about Garrus body pillows to a full line of merch that actually acknowledges how horny everyone is for the Mass Effect cast. Who knows what sort of merchandise we may see by the eventual launch of Mass Effect 5.
Check out our Mass Effect romance guide if you're looking for the next member of your body pillow collection.
