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A sari attempt to hybridise Hollywood and Bollywood, this Indian slummer casts Ali Larter (Heroes’ yummy mummy) as Marigold (“like the flower,” we’re endlessly reminded), a spoilt schlock starlet who reluctantly takes a hoofing gig in Goa. A passable back-screen satire starts to take shape (“Have you ever made a film without a number after it?”) before titters are traded for moony romance, leaving Larter in the star-crossed doldrums with subcontinental demi-god Salman Khan (hooded eyes betraying understandable embarrassment). With the latter’s arranged marriage on the horizon, there’s space for a true love versus tradition face-off. But little feels at stake as the plot clumps towards its predetermined outcome, padded with wardrobe changes and colourful but wan dance numbers. Bride & Prejudice did it all with a lot more shimmy and spice.

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