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Love thyself: Narcissistic game characters

Features
By Lucas Sullivan published 13 February 2013

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Fawful - Mario & Luigi

Whats this guys deal? Oftentimes, big egos come in small packages. Fawful may be diminutive in stature and has a very loose grasp on proper grammar, but his ostentatious attitude more than makes up for it. Though this Beanish villains smile suggests a manic happiness, Fawful is very vocal about his chief motivator: fury. When hes not terrorizing the Mario brothers, he enjoys erecting statues of himself and selling merchandise bearing his own likeness.

Trademark vanity: Fawfuls Vacuum Helmet puts Inspector Gadgets tricked-out hat to shame. Besides using it as a means of jetpack transportation, Fawful can also roast those pesky plumbers with fireballs, or use his helmet as a Ghostbusters-esque vacuum trap for spirits.

Characteristic quotes:
Your lives that I spit on are now but a caricature of a cartoon drawn by a kid who is stupid!
You inhaled like a hungry syrup pig at the free pancake buffet.

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  • Donald Duck: Goin' Quackers / Quack Attack promotional screenshots Disney's forgotten Donald Duck PS2 game is harder than any FromSoftware title I've ever played

Benimaru Nikaido - King of Fighters

Whats this guys deal? Benimaru is a rare instance of the affable narcissist. Though hes perfectly friendly and loyal to his teammates, his metrosexual fashion sense betrays his compulsion with maintaining a glitzy appearance. As in, only a narcissist would have the audacity to show up to a street fight wearing extremely tight pants and a midriff-exposing tube top (in either black or leopard-print, of course).

Trademark vanity: Punch him anywhere you want, just dont touch the hair. With a coif that puts Guiles physics-defying mane to shame, Benimaru would fit right in as a half-Japanese addition to Kid n Play. His secret isnt gallons of mousse--Benimarus electrokinetic abilities produce static that keeps his hair on end.

Characteristic quotes:
Man, am I brilliant or what? I'm a friggin' diamond!
I'm not conceited at all! I only speak what everyone else feels!!

Horatio - Endless Space

Whats their deal? Youve got to be pretty solipsistic--not to mention filthy freakin rich--to endeavor into space for your own amusement. The Horatio race is named after their creator and ancestor, a peculiar trillionaire who tired of his riches and ventured into space on his own. He landed on a planet which housed ancient alien cloning facilities, and promptly used the technology to make a legions of beings in his own image. Now theres an entire race of clones copied from one vainglorious man, all set on beautifying the rest of the known universe.

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Trademark vanity: Uniformity is the Horatio way of life. Even though there are male and female Horatio, they are all completely identical, save for facial tattoos. Because really--how else could you tell people apart when their names and appearances are identical?

Characteristic quote:
Horatio wished to fill [the stars] with subjects as beautiful as the most beautiful thing in the universe. Himself. Horatio. Now his goal is to make the entire galaxy beautiful as well. And he doesnt really care if the galaxy agrees.

Duke Tanas Oliver - Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

Whats this guys deal? Listen, buddy: If youre going to declare yourself the protector of true beauty, at least have the decency to maintain your body. Oliver is a pudgy villain whose loyalty lies with all things aesthetic, and he seems blissfully unaware that he himself is an overweight, balding, creepy old man. We would say his narcissism was harmless, but the fact remains that Olivers a former slave trader, soyeah. Screw this guyl.

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Trademark vanity: To feed his obsession with elegant splendor, Oliver became an art collector. In fact, hes convinced that fine art should only be owned and appreciated by him. If only Oliver were a mirror collector, he mightve realized that he was nearing levels of unattractiveness reserved for obese pedophiles.

Characteristic quotes:
Objects of beauty must be admired! Only by my side can they fulfill the purpose for which they are created!
True beauty is immortal. Look at me. Right now, I am flawless.

Vega - Street Fighter II

Whats this guys deal? Ladies and gentlemen, meet the poster boy for narcissism. Though he goes by many different names--Vega, Claw, Balrog--hes unmistakable for his elegant ponytail, expressionless mask, snake tattoo, and vicious three-pronged claw. Believing himself to be the peak of fine form and beauty, Vega helps ugly, inferior individuals the only way he knows how: by spilling their blood. Whether you do or dont swing that way, theres no denying that this Spanish assassin is one of the most handsome killers around.

Trademark vanity: His signature metal mask, which acts as a barrier between Vegas beauty and the incoming attacks that threaten to bruise its unblemished veneer. You know hes feeling real cocky when he mockingly tosses his mask off during the middle of a fist fight. Clearly, you arent a threat to his exquisite visage.

Characteristic quotes:
Only I understand the pain of being too strong and beautiful!
Your hideousness is beyond saving. The best thing you can do for this world is to die.

What hope do you have against our bountiful knowledge?

So, we already know everything there is to know--but maybe you think you know more? Let us know which of your favorite narcissistic characters we missed, and maybe we'll consider adding them. If we feel like it.

And if you're looking for more demented features, check out gaming's most magnificently murderous medical practitioners and gaming's masked maniacs revealed: What are they trying to hide?

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Lucas Sullivan is the former US Managing Editor of GamesRadar+. Lucas spent seven years working for GR, starting as an Associate Editor in 2012 before climbing the ranks. He left us in 2019 to pursue a career path on the other side of the fence, joining 2K Games as a Global Content Manager. Lucas doesn't get to write about games like Borderlands and Mafia anymore, but he does get to help make and market them. 

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