Gaming’s most devastating genital attacks

The attack: Groin squeeze

Bloodlust sated for now? Good, then let’s get the rest of the minimally violent groin attacks out of the way. Bully (or Canis Canem Edit, for you in the UK) is one of Rockstar’s less violent games, but its hero might be the first videogame character ever to cup a pair of balls in his hand and squeeze until his enemy is reduced to a sad mess. It happens randomly, whenever Jimmy’s accosted by one of Bullworth Academy’s roaming prefects.

Struggle to escape, and you might be rewarded with this unpleasant scene:

This leaves them doubled over in agony, but only for a moment, so at this point it’s probably a good idea to run away very fast.


Wince factor:

Mikel Reparaz
After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.