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"Your goldfish has been executed": Helldivers 2 support staff apparently don't take kindly to requests to join the Cyborgs, noting the "dissidence" against Super Earth

News
By Anthony McGlynn published 18 February 2026

The betrayal is real

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A Helldivers 2 Cyborg cries out in despair
(Image credit: Arrowhead)
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The Cyborgs are attacking in Helldivers 2. Do you understand what a threat to freedom they are? They'll turn us into meat puppets in their endless pursuit for power. They must be stopped and - defection? What? Now. No way. Not if you want to keep that goldfish, anyway.

This is the reaction at least one player apparently got when they contacted Helldivers 2's dedicated support staff about jumping sides to join the Automaton empire. As one person found out, the response is swift, cynical, and wholly justified in the defense of Super Earth.

"Your dissidence against Super Earth has been noted, and your citizenship has been revoked," says the reply. "Additionally your goldfish has been executed, and all C-01 permits are automatically denied."

You may like
  • Cropped Helldivers 2 art from the official 'Save Cyberstan' poster. Helldivers 2's Cyborgs are real, and they'd kindly like you to "defect" from Super Earth
  • Helldivers 2 screenshot showing a fully geared/armored diver standing with gun in hand as three jets soar the skies behind him Helldivers 2 players fail the game's "biggest" battle ever as the Cyborgs prepare for an "unjust counter-offensive"
  • Cropped Helldivers 2 art from the official 'Save Cyberstan' poster. Helldivers 2 players cheated so hard that Arrowhead had to "disable the Galactic War" and change a Major Order
Helldivers 2 - Machinery of Oppression - YouTube Helldivers 2 - Machinery of Oppression - YouTube
Watch On

In a final jab, the mail finishes: "Cyberstan must fall." Look, I'm sympathetic to anyone's goldfish, I'm sure Flipper was a wonderful companion, but their fate was decided when this person thought defection would be a worthwhile venture.

"They can't get away with this," the Redditor adds. They can and they have. This is not a time to play around, there are cyborgs to be destroyed. Get involved or get out of the way, please.

In all seriousness, this is an excellent extension of the universe Arrowhead's created. The studio's got a strong hand on comedic propaganda and metatextual storytelling. This particular example reminds of the recurring joke of arresting people for not having a goldfish license in 2000 AD's Judge Dredd.

Rules are rules. You know them, I know them, and we need to keep Super Earth safe before they change, I'm afraid.

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Helldivers 2 players cheated so hard that Arrowhead had to "disable the Galactic War" and change a Major Order, but don't worry, "the offenders have been volunteered" to test "bio-safety protocols"

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Anthony McGlynn
Anthony McGlynn
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Contributing Writer

Anthony is an Irish entertainment and games journalist, now based in Glasgow. He previously served as Senior Anime Writer at Dexerto and News Editor at The Digital Fix, on top of providing work for Variety, IGN, Den of Geek, PC Gamer, and many more. Besides Studio Ghibli, horror movies, and The Muppets, he enjoys action-RPGs, heavy metal, and pro-wrestling. He interviewed Animal once, not that he won’t stop going on about it or anything.

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