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Top 30 movie henchmen

Features
By Total Film Staff published 19 June 2015

Mooks, goons and minions

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Hyperions army The Immortals (2011)

"It'll be a slaughter"

Assisting: King Hyperion of Heraklion

The Henchmen: Soldiers fighting for Hyperion, aiding him in his search for the powerful Epirus Bow and generally laying waste to everyone and everything that gets in their way. This includes Theseus’ village, murdering his mother and the other villagers.

Why They're The Best: They’re certainly an efficient and brutal force to be reckoned with. In fact, it takes god Poseidon to wipe most of them out.

The Golden Army Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

"Seventy times seventy soldiers that would never know hunger and could not be stopped"

Assisting: Prince Nuada

The Henchmen: An indestructible mechanical army controlled by a magical crown. They are ordered to kill Hellboy and his team before going on to kill the whole human race.

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Why They're The Best: They literally are indestructible, having the ability to magically repair themselves. Imagine that - henchmen that can't be easily beaten or killed.

Dog pack Up (2009)

"Now, you must wear the cone of shame."

Assisting: Charles Muntz

The Henchmen: Made up of Alpha, Beta and Gamma, the pack are all owned by adventurer Charles Muntz and they all do his bidding with voice chips in their collars that allow them to – SQUIRREL.

Why They're The Best: Alpha is the only fairly scary one here as leader of the pack (and a Doberman, no less), but really they’re all just lots of silly fun and – SQUIRREL (we never get tired of that gag).

Wing Kong gang Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

"Holy shit - these guys are animals, Jack"

Assisting: Evil sorcerer Lo Pan

The Henchmen: They are the vicious warriors that fight their rival gang, the Chang Sings. The film starts with a fight between the two sides after the Wing Kong killed the previous godfather of Little China Lim Lee. They also fight alongside the Three Storms, ninjas that are physical manifestations of Thunder, Rain and Lightning.

Why They're The Best: The majority of the Wing Kong are just a bunch of anonymous ninjas that are evenly matched against the Chang Sings. The Three Storms, however, are powerful, scary and extremely deadly.

Goblins Labyrinth (1986)

"I wish the goblins would come and take you away!"

Assisting: Jareth, King Of The Goblins

The Henchmen: The most common inhabitant of the labyrinth, the goblins are silly, clumsy creatures that do as Jareth (David Bowie) orders. In this case, that includes abducting young Toby at the behest of tantrum-throwing teen Sarah (Jennifer Connelly).

Why They're The Best: They're more idiotic than anything particularly useful. They could actually cause real damage, but only by being an incredible nuisance. That said, they're pretty nfity when it comes to a toe-tapping musical number.

The Playing Cards Alice in Wonderland (1951)

"Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards"

Assisting: The Queen Of Hearts

The Henchmen: Loyal servants and guards that make up the Queen’s military force. During Alice’s trial, the soldiers surround her box so that she can’t escape and, later on, they are ordered to chase after her.

Why They're The Best: They act more out of fear than loyalty, so they hardly come across as dangerous, violent thugs. They might give you a mean papercut though.

Corrupt DEA agents Lon: The Professional (1994)

"How much would it cost to hire someone to get those dirtbags who killed my brother?"

Assisting: Norman Stansfield.

The Henchmen: These agents had been paying Mathilda’s father to stash cocaine in his apartment, but when they discover some of the drugs are missing, they raid the building under the leadership of maniacal Norman Stansfield. Stansfield then ends up losing his temper and killing Mathilda’s entire family.

Why They're The Best: They’re still trained police officers, but how could they possibly withstand a surprise attack from trained assassin Léon?

Biffs gang Back To The Future (1985)

"Hey, Biff, get a load of this guy's life preserver"

Assisting: Biff Tannen.

The Henchmen: Biff’s gang comprises of Match Skinhead and 3-D, all of whom follow him as he bullies, harasses and generally gets up to no good. They don’t do really do much more than offer an occasional insult and laugh at Biff’s terrible jokes, apart from, towards the end of the film, they lock Marty in the trunk of a car.

Why They're The Best: True, they're pretty rubbish at being there Biff actually needs them, but there's no denying they always look like they're having fun. And yes, that is a young Billy Zane.

Borg Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

"Resistance is futile."

Assisting: The Borg Queen

The Henchmen: Star Trek's most ruthless foe are outrageously retconned as mere henchmen when it is revealed for the first time in this film that they have been working under the leadership of the Borg Queen all this time. Mind you, they also make Picard and crew abandon ship and capture Data.

Why They're Best: The Borg have always seemed like the Federation's most unstoppable enemy and that is still true here.

Nazi soldiers - Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)

"For the last two years, the Nazis have had teams of archaeologists running around the world looking for all sorts of religious artifacts"

Assisting: Led by Colonel Dietrich but ultimately following Belloq.

The Henchmen: Soldiers carrying out Hitler’s bidding in searching for occult items. They are pretty much only around to supply manpower for when it comes to, for example, digging for the Well Of Souls. Although they provide plenty of opposition for Indy too, of course.

Why They're The Best: They're not exactly the worst at their job, it's just that Indiana Jones always manages to just survive by the skin of his teeth. Although they’re still Nazis, so obviously they ARE terrible…

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Total Film Staff

The Total Film team are made up of the finest minds in all of film journalism. They are: Editor Jane Crowther, Deputy Editor Matt Maytum, Reviews Ed Matthew Leyland, News Editor Jordan Farley, and Online Editor Emily Murray. Expect exclusive news, reviews, features, and more from the team behind the smarter movie magazine. 

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