Videogame crime report, 2007

Date: August, 2007

Location: Anderson, South Carolina

Crime: Racial hatred (Fanboy variety)

Details: Microsoft fanboy goes crazy and goes on a graffiti rampage in Toys ‘R’ Us.

Prejudice sadly so often starts at an early age. Whether it’s based on class, race, gender, orvideogame console preference, we see too much of it occuring in our youth, their innocent minds corrupted by irrational hatred and fear of the different. Truly, a sad indictment of the social ills of our times.

One plucky young member of the Xbox supremecist army had his campaign of hate brought to an end this summer when he was caught by security guards in his local Toys ‘R’ Us store. The thirteen year old rage-monger was spotted defacing PlayStation 3 game packaging with the slogan “PS3 sucks”, eventually getting through twenty-three boxes before being brought to justice.

Did the poor boy assume that this act of defiance against the ‘enemy’ would lead to his finally being embraced into the upper-echelons of the Microsoft empire? Did he think he'd be rewarded for his loyalty to the cause by being made an official member of ‘the family’, and be invited to enjoy Christmas dinner at Peter Moore’s house every year? Did he really think that his vandalistic actions would be vindicated when people saw the error of their ways and repented after witnessing the revelatory power of his writings?

In the words of the boy himself:

“I have an Xbox and I hate PlayStation. I found the marker lying on the shelf and I guess I was bored. Sorry.”