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Total Recall Total Remake

Underworld director Len Wiseman to direct an updated version of the Arnie classic

Underworld director Len Wiseman is in final negotiations to direct a remake of Total Recall , Columbia Pictures has announced.

According to the company’s press release, the film will be a new, “contemporized” adaptation of "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale" the short story by Philip K Dick on which the original 1990 film – directed by Paul Verhoeven and starring a pre-Governator Arnie – was based.

Hang on… “contemporized”? So it’s going to be set now as opposed to in the future? Okay… So no holidays to Mars in this one then.

We shouldn’t complain, though. The Verhoeven movie wasn’t exactly a faithful adaptation, but for once maybe we should be glad of that; the original short story ends up with the hero, Quaid, foiling an invasion of Earth by intelligent mice (or something ludicrous like that – it’s been a while since we read it). Verhoeven basically took the basic concept from the short story (a man who purchases implanted memories of being a secret agent on a mission to Mars starts having difficulty knowing where the dream ends and the reality begins) and went off on his own tangent, so we can’t really complain if Wiseman’s film does the same thing. But a ”contemporized” setting? Won’t that just be Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind with guns?

Kurt ( Equilibrium ) Wimmer is writing the screenplay with Neal H ( I Am Legend ) Moritz will produce through his Original Film banner.

Says Moritz, “I have been trying for years to work with Len and fortunately we finally found a great project that he loves as much as we do. Len is terrifically talented and we know he is the right director to re-imagine Total Recall for a new generation of fans.”

Add Wiseman: “I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”

But will he be casting his wife and sticking her in a tight, shiny, PVC costume, that’s what we really need to know…